Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 130, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 May 1920 — OLD AND NEW GRADS MINGLED [ARTICLE]

OLD AND NEW GRADS MINGLED

AT THE BANQUET TABLE AS CURTAIN DROPPED ON THE SCHOOL CAREERS OF 44 'With delightful music lending inspiration to the affair, with _ a delicious banquet raising conviviality to the supreme degree, with a toast program unexcelled and with pretty decorations drooping in abundance over the banqueters, Friday nights annual banquet of the alumni of Rensselaer high school to the new graduates was one which will be a memory everlasting and a scene not soon forgotten by the graduates who drift silently from the institution which they hold so dear into the great space of practical experience, touching elbows as they went with those who had passed from the portals of the many years jefore them. It was* an occasion that the forty-four young men and women will forever cherish as the most pleasant event of their lives. . Year after year the alumni banquet has held its place as an event unsurpassed on the annual social calendar, and the achievement of the alumni this year eclipsed all previous banquets. Many of the alumni of the school were lured back from distant fields to again dwell in the school atmosphere and acquaintances with their former classmates, and to meet the new members of their association.

Perhaps never in the history of the city was such an interesting toast program offered as the one of last night. The speakers of the evening had worked faithfully to make their part of the program maintain the standard of enjoyment supplied by the other events of the evening’s entertainment, and how well they did their part is voiced by those who were in attendance. With all due respect to those who occupied the other places on the toast program, it must be said that the toast given by Miss Helen Lamson on the subject, “How You Going To Keep ’Em Down On the Farm?” was wone never equalled since the inaguration of alumni banquets. Miss Lamson handled her subject in such a pleasing and humorous manner that she was interrupted time and again by the applause of her auditors. We are privileged to publish Miss Lamson’s toast, which reads as follows: “M’mselle Toastmistress, Glass of 1920, Fellow Alumni, Friends—-yes, and Enemies! ! for I am sadly aware that I have enemies present. I had already classified the members of the program committee as such, and now I find that I must add to their number the toastmistress of the evening—Miss Harriett Shedd —my would-be friend and supporter.

A few days ago when two member of the program committee came sneaking up to ring my door bell with the purpose of their coming projecting itself conspicuously before them, I did not greet them cordially,— —Oh! No! I said most emphatically, ‘ln the first place I won’t do it; in the second place I can’t do it and in the third place, why should I?’ To my first statement they calmly said, ‘You will’; to my second, ‘you can’; to my third, •why should you, why, because that .subject about the farm we have selected is so especially .suited to you.* ‘You see,’, went on Mr. Meyers, ‘although you have lived inside of the corporation of the thriving little city of Rensselaer for almost four years, you have not yet succeeded in shaking the hayseed all out of your hair.’ ‘Yes,’ chimed in Mr. Hanley, ‘anyone would know a block away that you are a clodhopper.’ Up until six o’clock this evening I stall said, ‘I won’t’ Now I am still saying, ‘I can’t’ and soon you will be thinking,#‘Why! Oh why should she.’ Yes, I was born, on a farm. I have lived a fraction of a century upon a farm and if the right farmer should happen along at the right time and make the right sort of proposition, I assure you that I would not turn down a chance to die on a farm.!. The time will come when clodhopping’ will be a favorite dance, as popular no doubt, as pleasing at least, as the present day ‘shimmy.’ I think this graduating class will

live to see Farmer Corntassel in the President’s' chair. He’ll not} drive out to the golf links to take his exercise, he’ll hoe the beans. His wife will not be running over to Paris for diversion, she’ll be of Maude Muller stock, she’ll help make the hay. She’ll not receiye orchids every *m<ning, she’ll be happy with a corsage of marigold and hollyhocks. She . can step out and select the breakfast from the White House pig pen; sugar from their own private sorghum patA; cold slaw from the garden, or, in the winter time tap a barrel of : saner -kraut in the White House cellar. . j The question reads: I ‘How you going to keep em down on the farm?’ - Away back in the years preceding 1905, when I wa sin Rensselaer high school, I learned that the best way to avoid answering a hard question was to ask another one ,and I have • a «a ' . 'ax ' ■

entirely gotten away from that method, consequently I make this appeal to our guests, the class of imr" Why wear out nerves in a busy shop? — Where the whirl of machinery will never stop . copWhy keep your eye on the traffic You are the man who is on top, • -Down on Hie farm. Why pass your days in a crowded flat? (It’s awful if you are inspired to be fat) < With scarcely room to hang your hat. There’s room for all plur a dog and cat, Down on the farm Why expose yourself to the gossipy tongue? Why take the chance of getting stung? Why not get out and fill each lung With the country air, *t will Down on the farm. Why strive to be a social queen? And in the limelight always seen? Why not stroll in the meadows green Or ride in the farmer’s limousine? Down on the farm. Why be a lawyer with musty old books? Why be a chef; there are cooks and cooks? Why be a poet with queer, dreamy looks? .. There’s rythym in the running brooks. Down on the farm. : Why be a musician with drums and fife? - ' ~ Why be a clerk; it’s a hum-drum life. Girls, why dabble in politics, Oh! the struggle and strife — When you might become a farmer’s wife? Down off - the farm. Why seek amusement in a cabaret — So fond of dancing and music gay ? Then listen to this, for I know what I say— All nature’s a-jazz ’ere the break t of day Down on the farm.

Why long for cold slaw like Tipton Budd? = , , Why pay so much for the lowly spud? The old cows never lack for cud And the overall’s the proper “dud Down on the farm. • • ■ Why be a teacher on a starvation wage? . Why risk your reputation on the movie stage? Why handle people’s money m a cashier’s cage? •” Why not live to a ripe old age —' Down on the farm? Down on the farm, down on the farm, .So happy, so free, so safe from all harm. Here’? luck to you, pludk to you, Senior class; Here’s health to you, wealth to you, each lad and lass, Here’s hoping the best of your years you may pass « Down on the farm. Miss Shedd as toastmaster and the others on the program deserve the very highest commendation, and each toast is worthy of very extended review but space does not permit of it. We are pleased, however, to give the program in full: President Cope J. Hanley “Nothin’ blooms as bright as a June graduate, or withers quicker.” . .. — .. Toastmaster Harnett Shedd “O’ course it costs money t say it with flowers, but it’s well worth th’ difference if you don t use good English.” How you going to keep ’em down on the farm? Helen Lamson “Young Ike Budd, after receivin’- a silk shirt for his birthday, quit th’ druggery of till’n th’ soil and sought the city and nobler things.” Will they vote like their Paj— , “Miss Mame Moon has returned from th’ congress o’ candidates, up t’ Indynoplus, full o tea but still neutral. After all th’ average statesman is only a politician that s landed. Will they keep on soaring—-.---Harold Halleck “There’s somethin’ I’m crazy about an’ I’m goin’ t’ get a * dish of it when times get normal,” said Tipton Budd t’day as he admired some cold slaw at the Little Gem restaurant. “What’s became o’ th’ ole satisfied customer that stood around an’ joked a wffile after spendin’ his money?” Do you know the motion?. Alice Witham “Contrary t’ th popujar impression the saxophone is a very ole musical instrument, but there has never been a dance to fit it ’til the last year or two. You couldn’t hear the saxophone at Melodian Hall last night for the rustle of the overalls.” ' . ~ The banquet was served by the ladies of the Christian church in an elegant and dainty manner and their efforts were greatly appreciated by allWith the close of the banquet the remainder of the evening was given to dancing, which brought to a close a week filled with social activities and pleasant memories. The following officers were elected for the ensuing year: President, Lee Collins. Vice-president, Lon Healy.. Secretary,. Miss Grace Noms. Treasurer, Miss Rose Luers.