Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 127, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 May 1920 — CURRENT WIT and HUMOR [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

CURRENT WIT and HUMOR

“Are the Jibbletons the kind of people you like to have about you?” “No,” replied Mr. Grumpson, “they’re not The Jibbletons are always nagging me about being unsociable. They seem to think that just because a man builds a big, broad veranda around his hpuse he ought to keep it cluttered up with neighbors. I built that veranda to sit on all by myself and I don’t mind telling you there are times when I wish It was a mile wide.”—Birmingham Age-Her-ald.

He: If we are not suited to eacn other, will you permit me to get a divorce? She: Certainly, I’ll even find you a co-respondent. Sweet. “The sweetest girl I ever kissed," Said gay young Malcolm; “Used powdered sugar on her face ~“lnstead of talcum. Walk Right In. The president of a provincial council opened the session with the following address: "Until now, gentlemen, we have been compelled to send the patients of our province to the asylum of X. But today, at last, I have the pleasure of announcing that we have in course of construction a great Insane asylum exclusively for ourselves.” (Bravo 1 Bene I)—Bulletin of Italian Society. Contrary Process. “What is the difference between a man who Is attending to his son and heir in the woodshed and his daughter who is in her room powdering her sunburned face?” “I suppose the chief difference is that the father with his son is tanning his hide while the daughter is hiding her tan.” An Impossible Feat. “Mr. Jones, Mr. Gobbs says he wants to see you at the telephone.” "Tell him he can’t see me at the telephone. Mine has no X-ray attachment.” f ■ Soothing Reply. She—l suppose now we have quarreled, you are comparing this to your old home. He—Yes; this is just like the rows mother used to make.

4 Mamma the Swift's have a new chauffeur.” “Yes, dear, the last one couldn’t be repaired any more.” Exaggeration Even Then. "Takes tailors nine to make a man;” Now surely that’s a That is, of course, unless it means To make a man a pauper. 1 ! Adding to the Trouble. Excited Traveler—Can I catch the four o’clock express for Birmingham? Railway Official (calmly)—That depends upon how fast you can nm. It started 13 minutes ago.—London TitBits. Expert Opinion. “No doubt you’re often amused at . the complexity of human nature.” “Let me tell you in confidence,” replied the eminent counsel, “it’s my honest opinion that most of my clients need a guardian rather than a lawyer.”—Browning’s Maga*ine. i Knew It, “Do you know that it is more blessed to give than to receive?” - “Yes, many a gM forgives a man’s past because at bls presents I**—Csr- . toons Magastna. —\

AN UNSOCIABLE CREATURE.

THOUGHTFUL.

ON THE RETIRED LIST.