Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 108, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 May 1920 — SCRAPS of HUMOR [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SCRAPS of HUMOR

HAW, HAW! “Do you beiieve in transmigration of souls?” asked the Little Man. “Sure,” replied the Big Man. “Nothing,” replied the Little Man. “But it says here that there are birds in Africa with bills a yard Idng.” “Well, what about them?” demanded the Big Man. “I was just wondering if those birds are not the - spirits of departed plumbers,” replied the Little Man. —Cincinnati Enquirer. Time Enough. “You know, old man, I was going to ask you to dinner with me tonight but I just heard Smith remark that you were going to eat with him.” “Oh —what time do you eat?” “Six o’clock.” “Well, that’s all right, old boy. Smith doesn’t eat till seven.”—Judge.

NO TROUBLE* “Have any trouble with your daughter’s beaux?” “No, I use this ‘Stop-Go’ signal In the parlor.” The Lightning Pioneer. If old Ben Franklin in his day Had paused to loiter and to laugh And only worked eight hours a day We would- have had no telegraph. Beyond His Limits. Ben Said—What’s the matter with Ben All, the whirling dervish? He’s all tied up in a knot. Ben Yusuf—He was out taking his morning spin on the road when an American band came along and he tried to whirl to jazz music. Hay Days. “Do you make a wish when you see a load of hay?” asked the superstitious girl.: “Not if it’s my hay,” replied Farmer Cdrntossel. “With hay at present prices a man with a load of it doesn’t have to wish. He’s already got his.” Not a Chance. - Miss Leftover—Aren’t you afraid to marry on "so short an acquaintance? You know they say, “Marry In haste, repent at leisure.” Miss Hurryon—Dear thing, when I marry my husband won’t have any leisure in which to renent. A Suggestion. “Can you suggest a good name for this new high-power car of mine?” “Why not call it Malthus, since it Is going to keep down the surplus population?”

WHERE THE FAULT LAY. Hubby—lsn’t your Skirt outrageously short? ... Wifey —No, indeed, it is justthat the floor doesn’t come up any higher. ■ - Sky Traffic. When in our airship through the crowd We journey fast or slow. We’ll And a cherub on a cloud To signal “Stop" and “Go.” The Needy Ones. “Do you think the motion picture stars will form a union?” - “Why should thej? It would be more suitable if their employers organized." —Film Fun. The Big Consideration. “You have taken a lofty position In this momentous matter.” “I have,” replied Senator Sorghum. “And I feel a little like an aviator. I can’t stay In the air forever. The big consideration is how I’m going to ■light.” ~ i —-4 Opportunities. “Ours is a country with opportunities for all. Even in Boston you don’t have to operate a book store.” “Eh?” “You can ran a beanery." .