Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 103, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 April 1920 — Peanut Pietro [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Peanut Pietro

LASTA week I go veesit town where flu bug still worka steady. Mosta place we gotta over top weeth flu campaign, but deesa place leetle behlnda yet. Poleecman say before I stay here I gotta pass examlnash and weara flu mask’ lika dog muzzle. I no lika deesa way and for seexa blocks I runa so fast for leava town I pass everytlng but examlnash. Mebbe hees gotta too moocha start, I dunno. Cop catcha me. Judge fina me tree bucks, geeva me flu mask and say I am isolate for two days. By time I gotta all feex up for stay out of jail I so late heesa no use for show up at .frien’s house. But I no lika deesa dog muzzle anyway. Maka look too moocha lika somating else. One ting you can looks everybody you owe straights een one eye and he no can tella you for deesguise. While I am waita for flu to leava town I gdtta acquaint weeth one swell cheecken. I begin tink mebbe flu no so bad till I go veesit her house one night. When sheesa taka dat dog muzzle off, saccre Lulu, shees gotta face just lika “No Man’s Land.” Nexa day I telegraph letter to Presdent Weelson for aska heem please eef he make feefteen points for stead of fourteen. I goota great admire for one hees point on freedom of da seas. But I geeva suggest he maka one for freedom of da sneeze. No gooda firsts class sneeze gotta chance behinda flu mask. Wot you tink?