Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 99, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 April 1920 — LIFE'S LITTLE JESTS [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

LIFE'S LITTLE JESTS

HAD FORGOTTEN. ■■ — • Professor A becomes infatuated with a young lady and woos her with great ardor. "But,” says the maid, “how can 1 marry you? You are already mar* ried?” “Am I?” says he. "Wait a bit.” <Pulls out hls-notebook.) “Oh, yes, 1 am! You are right, my dear!” —Karikaturu, Norway. Good Prescription at That. “I shall never call that doctoi again.” “What’s the matter? Didn’t his advice suit you?” "Not at all. It was Insulting.” “In what way?” “He had the effrontery to suggest that it would do me a lot of good il Pd quit taking life easy and go to work.” Fearful Possibility. . “Let’s hope the cooks don’t form any more unions,” said Senator Sorghum. “Who cares?” “I do. Suppose they were to strika Without cooks there could be no banquets ; and without banquets what would we do for politics?”

THE HALCYON DAYS. , When wo go anywhere now we have to take the street car. Before cur marriage you always called a taxi. Yes; that's the reason vW have to go in the street car now. _ No Chance at All. The grippe shuts you up at hom« With pains that strangely rankle! Or, if you’re well enough to roam. You fall and sprain your ankle. Some Luck. Stout —Did you have any luck at the game last night? * Slim —ril say so. Got cleaned and was going home with the boys and we were held up and the winners lost all their dough to the footpad. Honest Doctor. “My dear lady, you are tn perfect health. I can’t find a thing the matter with you.” “I wish you’d try again, doctor. I do so want to go away to recuperate.” A Problem. “Tell me one thing about a man’s shying his hat into the ring.” “What is that?” “Wtll it keep him from talking through it?” In a Restaurant. -- "Will you have one of our combination breakfasts?” “Not on your life! The last time the combination was acute indigestion and a heart attack.”

Its Style. "Was there much fuss about the telephone girt's breaking her engagement?” “No; merely a case of ring off.* ■ — Natural Handicap. “Isn't it odd that women are so successful in motion pictures?” “Why is It odd?" “Because it is the silent drama.* ] Specified. “There are some drawbacks tn the photograph business.” •‘Yes, it has some ugly features about It.’* _____ Sad Prospect. “Do the doctors give your friends any hope for their rich uncle?” “Not a particle. They,say he may ive for years.” Discussing the Lead. The Comedian—That new leadin’ man’s a cheese. The big stiff! Nothin’ but a cheese. \ The Soubrette—Naw, ,he ain’t no cheese. A cheese is good to eat. a hole In the cheese—Just as rank, but nothin’ to it „ ” Does It Ever Happen? 7_o T ” * • • • thing your heart desires. . Voice Over the Phone-And you m» stay as long as yea Uke, Henry, dear.