Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 98, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 April 1920 — CURRENT WIT and HUMOR [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

CURRENT WIT and HUMOR

HAD DONE HIB SHARE. An old gentleman in the South station waiting room, annoyed by some youngsters playing tag around his feet, exclaimed: “Stop that racket, children !” “Well, I like that!” said the mother in a loud, angry tone. “Now look here, madam,” said the old gentleman, "I’ve raised three families of children and not a single child was ever allowed to annoy people.” “Well,” replied the irate lady, “if you’ve raised three families you’ve certainly done your duty and I*ll thank you to allow me to raise mine.” —Boston Transcript

BAD BREAK. “So Miss Freeze is angry with her doctor. Why is that?” “He tactlessly remarked that he would have her looking her old self again.” A Big Order. "Man wants but little here below.” ' "Is that so?" asked one miss! "When it’s below the mistletoe He wants a great big klsa” No Song and Dance for Jags. His Wife—Mr. Jags, it is now three o’clock in the morning and you needn’t try to give me a “song and dance” about where you’ve been. Her Husband —I won’t, m’dear. If there’sh anything I dishlike it’s musical comedy in th’ home. —London Answers. ~

Holding Hie Own. “Hello, old chap I What do you know today?” “Nothing—absolutely nothing.” “Well, cheer up. You’re holding your own.” —Judge. A Knock From Mias Knox. Miss Muggly—lsn’t it wonderful, when you think of It, how a mirror can reflect one’s face? Mias Knox —Yes, dear; I sometimes wonder how it can stand the strain. What He Wanted. Nervous Young Man —Have you any toys? \ Saleswoman —Yes, sir. What kind? Nervous Young man —Oh —er — 1 for a child. —London Punch. Appropriate Trimming. “The wit of the Irish lady who made the address matched her dress.” “In what way?” “Both were full of Irish point.”

HUBBY KICKS. “See here, wifey.” “Well?” k o “If you must carry that ridiculous poodle, get a shawl strap.” A Creed. * e For God and countryl 11 There’s a creed Which covers all That mortals need Words of Comfort. He (after the proposal)—Now, rv< got to speak to your father, and I know he dislikes me. She—Don’t worry, dearest; he.has a far greater aversion to my bills. —Lon don Answers. On the Job. Mrs. Knagg—l told you to watt* nt tie Jane Marie while I Was out and you’ve let her cut her new dress all tc rags. Her Husband—l know. I was watch Ing her while she did. it- Did you wlal me td Interfere? Pat Illustration. “Pa, what’s It mean about ft's beinj better to give than to receive?” “It means, my son, that your mothe finds more pleasure to lecturing W mart I do In listening to her." ' • •X. . .