Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 92, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 April 1920 — IN ANOTHER KEY [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

IN ANOTHER KEY

Teacher' , tvas giving a lesson on good behavior, and wanted to drive it home to the children’s mind. First she sought to point out the wickedness of stealing. “Johnny,” she said to one small boy, “if I put my hand in your pocket and took out a penny, what would I be?” But instead of replying, “A thief,” Johnny looked at her, solmenly, and remarked: “A conjurer I” —London Answers. Driven to It. “My boy,” said Mr. Grabcoin, “are you getting ready to settle down?” “Yes, dad, I guess I’ll have to.” "A sensible decision, sir.” “Perhaps. Most of the chaps I went to college with are doing some kind of beastly work, and one hates to sit around his club all day with nobody to talk to'but the Waiters. Ho, hum! I’ll have to go into business to amuse myself.”

Nurse—ls you loved me you would give up smoking when you get over yOur terrible wounds. Soldier —If you loved me you wouldn’t ask me to give it up. The Producer. A man worth while, beyond a doubt. That person is. Who does not rant, or roar or shout. But tends to his biz. . A Mean Man. “Would you mind telling me what the upkeep of your limousine amounts to?” “Certainly not,” replied the prosperous citizen. “But may I ask why you want to know?” “My wife’s been after me to buy a flivver and I’m going to argue against it on a limousine basis.” Wanted Some One Congenial. The Applicant —As your paid companion, will I be expected to accompany you on week-ends and other short trips? Mrs. K. Nyne—Oh, I didn’t advertise 'for a companion for myself. It’s for my little dog, to keep him from being lonesome while I’m out. Their Differences. ——— Hokus —On what grounds were they divorced? - Pukus —Incompatibility of temperament, I believe. Hokus —Couldn’t they agree? Pokus —No; every time she to make him mad he just laughed.— Town Topics. Well, Well. “Prices are sky high.” “We all need a ralse.” “My boss evidently thinks so.” “Why?” “Yesterday he raised me a dollar a week.”

“Was it much of a dinner?" “I should say it was. There were seven different kinds of forks at ; •ach plate.” Safety First. A crazy motorist is he. He opens wide the gas. His driving motto seems to be: “They shall not pass!”. Quite Otherwise. ' ■ “Four charges are simply outrageous,’’ complained the guest who was at the shore hotel for his health. 1 “Hold on!” protested the landlord. “You forget rm not at this hotel for the same reason that you are.” Smart, at That. “I guess my wisp thinks rm a pretty smart man.” “Why?” “She admits that I am half as smart as she thought I was the day we weak married.”

HIS POCKET WAS BARE.

BEGINNING OF A ROMANCE.

SOME DINNER.