Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 85, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 April 1920 — TAKE TIME TO SMILE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

TAKE TIME TO SMILE

The Superior Air. “Is your boy Josh settling down to work?” “Not so’s you can notice Jt,” replied Farmer Corntossel. ‘Tm willin’ to bet that after the prodigal son got settled back In the old home he soon had the old folks kindo’ worried an’ shamefaced because they didn’t smoke his brand o’ cigarettes an’ couldn’t name the really pl’cher stars.” A Sincere Compliment. His Wife—What did little Mr. Peet say when you showed him that portrait of his wife? Psmear, the Portrait Artist —Not a word. The boob just looked at it in silence. His Wife—Good! It was so lifelike he didn’t dare to speak in its presence without permission. Quite Fetching. z "That Mrs. Giddersleigh is a stunning looking matron.” “So she is, and I heard a cynical bachelor pay her a fine compliment the other day.” “What was it?” “He said she was so good looking it was still safe for her to heave a little sigh and exclaim, ‘Dear me!. I’m getting old and ugly I’ ” His Opinion Not Fixed. Lawyer (examining prospective juror in criminal case)—Mr. Juror, have you any fixed opinion as to the guilt or innocence of the accused? Juror (emphatically)—Naw, I ain’t got no doubt but the guy’s guilty, but they ain’t nobody fixed me. No Longer an Instructor. “You haven’t suggested ‘a campaign of education’ recently.” “No,” replied Senator Sorghum. “I don’t dare. The folks out my way are getting to think they know more about politics than I do.”

"Pa, what Is thrift." "Thrift, my boy, is what a man has to practice so that his wife may be extravagant.” Progression. The bolshevist in accents glad Each discontent will nurse. Remarking, "Things are going bad; Let’s try to make ’em worse!" Frank About It. "So you are engaged?” *Yes.” "How romantic. Is he your ideal?” “No,” said the girl, candidly, “merely the best offer I could get.”—Come Back. Preliminary Training. "Where are you going, Geraldine?” “To court to hear a breach of promise case tried. It’s the fourteenth I’ve attended so far.” “I’m surprised at you.” “Well, I never expect to have a breach of promise suit of my own, but if I ever do I’m going to show just as much quiet self-possession in the courtroom as the judge himself.” Running True to Form. Debs—He’s got a wonderful collection of old curios. It’s worth while to sco them. Gebs —Yes, I know it is. I met his wife at the dance the other night and I think she must be about the oldest curio he has. Hypercritical. "Dp you care for these movie ‘closeups?’ ” , “No,” replied the esthetic person. “They give you a fine chance to study, the expression on the star’s face.” —• . "Maybe so, but I can’t admire even the most beautiful woman when her face looks like a full moon.” At a Disadvantage. “I fear that lady candidate is going to beat me.” "Why »o?” r 7 “She’s giving reliable beauty hints to wimmen voters. What chance have I got with my piffling talk on hog ralstog and wheat?” . . Sensitive. "Poor thing! She’s so afraid somebody’s making fun of her.” "I know lt. Why, she’s so sensitive that when she goes to the vo she always avoids the laughing hyena.” -■ . •

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