Evening Republican, Volume 23, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 February 1920 — CIGARETTES DID THIS [ARTICLE]

CIGARETTES DID THIS

(By toe Keeper of Nut Hollow)

you don’t know where I was last night I told managing ed this morning as he came in late as usual and he 'Baid no and I don’t care where you were dont you think I got anything else to do but watch you at nights and worry about you and I said well since you are so inquisitive I will tell you toat I went ’ down to the banquet last night and he said weH how tod you come out and I said all right that when we got ail through I still had two spoons and a fork left . ana he said weH toat aint so bad is it and I said I thought I did pretty well because there wasfno one else toat had anything left but crumbs and he said did you have a good time eating and I said yes when f I eat but I didn’t get to eat very

often because the mam at the head of the table was always getting up to talk and when he talked we (had to stop our victual music and listen to him and then when he wasnt talking he was having someone else talk but then I didn’t mind so much because I had eat .before I went down there anyway managing ed said who did toe talking and I said a business getter from Indianapolis and a lawyer and a housekeeper and a fellow without much hair on his head and the farmers friend and he asked me did I talk and I said yes whenever I got a chance and he said did -enjoy the evening and I said yei only the lady I sait next to asked

me would I quit punching her with my elbow when I was eating and I said yes if she would move over and she said why did they put me next to her dnd I daid I supposed because they didn’t care much about either one of us and quoted here that birds of a feather, flock together slogan and she looked mad at me and I asked her when was they going to bring in something more to eat and she said 1 didnt haVe no manners with my eating so ’ one of the maids came around with a cup with water m it and sat it down in front of me and I told her I wasn’t thirsty that it was something to eat wanted and she said well who said you was thirsty and would I huTry and wash the crumbs off my Mr gers and I said to her what dad Ae think my napkin was for and she d something about not being up to standard etiquette and toot the dish with her and then the man got up and started talking again and thought he wasn’t gou«to quit and I got so discouraged someone must have told him he wasn’t taking very well because finally he quit and told the oougicgation that there wasn’t anything more to the meal and se whe n were all going out I got hack in Be corfier and made up for my two fifty leas by holding a foraging par-