Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 312, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 December 1919 — A Wonderful Wife [ARTICLE]

A Wonderful Wife

By R. RAY BAKER

(Copyright, l»l». by the McClure N«w«- • paper Syndicate.) Gary Hazard, dramatic critic of the Morning Star, scowled into the cloud ©t tobacco for which his long curve-stemmed pipe was responsible. “No use,” he- sighed as lie tore a sheet from his typewriter and. cast ft into the waste-basket, “I simply can’t make the-girl 911 1 a good valid*" villist. She's wonderful to look at. hut when they put her on tip* vaudeville stage they spoiled a fine wife. His face took on a little smile as lie sat there at his desk in the editorial room. He was-hi a 'hurry to finish his criticism, or rather the printers were in a hurry to get it, so they could close up the theatrical page. |hit somehow he .hist- couida’t s»*«*m to go cm with his work. i All about him was noise. Typewriters yed with telegraph ..instruments in a contest of sound, and every now and then the linotypes would chip in with their musical rtpkle-tinkie wheneter..SO.me..QDg-PJ ,t ‘ne<i the door to the'eomposing room. - The citv editor was roaring into a telephone, repeating for the fifth time the words: - "I didn't get that last name; will you please spell it?" The state editor was howling into another phone,” and the, telegraph and news editors were arguing rather loudly over .the Size of a head for the League of Nations story. In the mhist of this apparent confusion Gary sat at his machine and dreamed about the girl he had seen an hour and a half ago on the Empress vaudeville stage. Gary did not try to delude himself. He realized ,he was in love with the girl: had renounced possession of his, heart Ihe moment she skipped onto the stage, and the worse her act became as It progressed the more deeply Gary became enmeshed in her charms. The girl fitted the mental picture of his Ideal in features, height, gesture and voice. And yet her act was absolutely Impossible. That was wh-y Gary’s hands lin.gered on the keys of his typewriter. He could not 'bear to give his honest opinion as to Mildred Harrison's act —“Mildred Harrison In j 4 Whirlwind of Song. Dance and Merriment." Twice he "started to write complimentary words, and once he thought seriously of omitting mention of her iff” his review, hut quickly changed his mi ml when he realized the omission would be more noticeable than a few words of adverse criticism. As to the compliments that he wanted to write, and which he knew her actr did not deserve —well, he simply couldn’t write a lie. He knew* and everybody' else at the theater that evening knew, that Mildred Harrison was a failure on the vaudeville stage, as was evidenced by the tittering heard during the would-be serious mb meats of her program and the forced "haw. haw, haw” wjien she endeavored to be witty. “How did they ever let her on the stage?" lie asked himself. "Surely must have had big pull with the powers that lie." Well, it was inevitable. He was paid money to give his .honest opinion as to the acts on the bill, and he owed it to his paper and also to the 'theater-going public‘to do just. that. Besides, he would be doing the girl a favor by telling her in print that she was a failure behind the foot-' lights: So he finally wrote: "Miss MUtfred Harrison is” a very s, attractive girl, with an entrancing personality, but when it comes to vaude-ville-dear Harrison, may it not be suggested that you try some other means of earning a Uv-i-Hg.?. —.As.-.a vaudevillist” Miss Harrison, you are not —well, you would make some young man a wonderful wife.' Gary finished hi- criticism and banded it to the city, editor, through whose hands it 'must pass. Then he wijnt hack to his'machine. “I’ve, killed that girl ns far a seller stage "career is concerned*.” “Her job expires tomorrow morning—/there's no doubt of that,-.because vaudeville fans take the Star as their Bible." “And it also ends my job. Ajfter this I’m through. People may think it’s fun slamming stage folk, but it isn’t. It’s better* to be one.", He wrote his resignation.’ to take effect in two wß*eks, and went horoe.to bed. The, next evening ■he went to the office early, and was greeted by the managing editor, who informed him coldly t that his resignation was to take immediate effect as his position already had been filled. Now, Gary was a vandeviilist himself. Two years before he had b<jen popular on the stage, and had qiit the game only because he had grown tired of the constant hopping from ■*one town to another. There was a standing “offer for 'his services right now. however, and he at once wired to the booking office —and received a favorable reply. Gary was a good newspaper man, but he was a better stage performer, and within a year he had recaptured the old halo of popularity that once had adorned his head. His was a Mngle act, with songs, monologue aleight-of-band: and the . house was sore to shake with applause every time he appeared. A year after severing his connection with the newspaper world, Gary came back to the old town to be featured as the headliner at the Empress The pa-

pers acclaimed “him ns a “local hoy who has made good," and the Star even went so far as to speak of him .ns n “product of this office"- ami run a full page with pictures of him, along with photographs of, his old desk and the.ifinohine on which lie used to pound out’Vritieisuis of other actors. The evening Sybk'equfcnt to his first npjvnranee at the Empress lie went 10 tiie Star office to renew acquaintanceships. The managing edi-, tor- gr<s‘t<*d him affably and an impromptu reception was held in the editorial riAun. “By the way," lie remarked t* the eftv editor. “I’d- 1-ike to- meet. your dramatic critic. H'e certainly did give- me a - bang-up write- Op in this morning's Star, and 1 want to thank him. 1 remember ihe hist crtticism I wrote. It was not so complimentary to some members of the bill.'' The city editor filled his pipe, gave out assignments to two reporters, swered* t litas* phone calls, borrow Hi a ■match tuul>aid: “Ij. happens that tlte ‘lie’ you speak of is a girl' The funny part* of it is that site's a former actress, the sameas you’re a former critic. " Slies not here- just now* but she'll be on hand soon." ; Presently the young lady arrived and was Introduced to the Empress headliner. the shock of ids life when lie satV Iter, for she was none-other than Mildred Harrison. t,ge girl he had loved and had criticizedthe cans,* of bis cutting”loose from the newspaper world.

“I’nt glad to -meet yon,” she' told him, her sparkling with more thuii. sincerity. You know, 1 was once on the stage myself. I tjried to make an actress -of myself, but it wits useless, and it remained for the dramatic critic on this very paper in this very town to show, me the error of my ways. I owe that critic untold gratitude, especially since lit* was kind enough to resign and leave open.the only job I could fill oh a newspaper. My stoiinexperience »was a fizzle, hut it fitted “to be a critic of others." “I am very glad to meet you, too.” lie replied just its sincerely; “so glad that I am going to ask if I may not see you after the show tonight. M.v act is near the last,-and I presume you will be attending gome other perforinanoeT If I’ may call for you there —” He did. and they made their way to a quiet little restaurant, where they engaged in some serious Conversation ©ter a light lunch. They talked in subdued tones, but they were desperately iii earnest, as anyone with half an eye colt Id have seen. Lot us eavesdrop just ‘a nyoment. \Ye will drop into a chair at a nearby table just 'as he remarks: "Isn't it strange that I should fall In love with you the moment I saw you on the stage, and that you—" * “And that I," she finished, “should* fail in love with you the moment I saw you on the sflige, in the same tlkeater a year later?” He sipped his coffee. “Well, it simply shows that J am a prophet. Didn't I tell you a year ago that you would make a wonderful wife?”