Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 305, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 December 1919 — SMILES FOR ALL [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SMILES FOR ALL

The Esthetic Judge. “That doctor can’t reset my broken nose by himself,” declared the incomparable movie actress. “But he’s a competent surgeon.” “No matter, I must have a sculptor present.”

His Good Point

“Papa,” said the little boy, “has the devil got a tail?” “Some folks say so,” answered the father. “Gee! That would be nice!” “Nice? And why?” “Because he can tie it to his little boy’s wagon and pull him around.”

The Plain Facts. "Some of these elderly spinsters act as if they thought every man was a gay Lothario.” "‘That’s a serious mistake. The average man lacks both the price and the nerve to be a gay Lothario.” A New Bird. “What has become of the frigate bird?” “Dunno. I think I saw an automobile bird yesterday.” “What d’ye mean, automobile bird?” “Anyhow, it was honking.”

Pleasant News.

“Algy, I hope you are not marrying me for my money.” “Perish the thought.” “Then that’s all right. Dad tells me he’s about to fail.”

Father's Shooting. They had hare for dinner, and very proudly mother told little Ada that it had been shot by father. "ReaUy!” said the little angel., “And who held it while daddy shot it, mummy?”