Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 284, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 November 1919 — HAVE A LAUGH [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

HAVE A LAUGH

It Never Fails. The Interested Listener. —It was lucky for you the wind sprang up when it did after you had been becalmed so long. The Ancient Mariner —No luck about it. When I seen the wind wasn’t goin’ to come of itself I fills my pipe an’ -takes out my last match an’ lights It on my pants, an’ up comes the wind an’ blows it out an 1 starts the ship. Shaking Shakespeare.

“Were you concerned in the actors’ strike?” “No,” replied Mr. Stormlngton Barnes. “What 1 want is some binding arrangement that will prevent the audience from quitting on me.”

Thought and Speech. “Do you believe that speech was given man to conceal his thoughts?" ' “Ido, for I’ve noticed that, as a rule, the talkative man never reveals any thought.” They Made Up. ' “Jack gave me a rainbow kiss lasi night.” “What kind of a kiss is that?” “One that follows a storm." Its Advantages. “A bee is odd in one “What Is that?” “It is not a fake and yet it is 4 humbug.” How They Love Each Other. Ethel—How do I look in this dress? ’ Marie —Charming, dear. Isn’t it wonderful how much a dress can do for one? Just Out of Cold Storage.

“How do you want yonr eggs, sir?” “Soft boiled, and see that I get ’em that way. Those you served me yesterday morning were merely thawed.”

No Traveler. “They do tell as how th’ professor chap wot lives atop o’ the hill yonder ’ave just wrote a book about ■** “Mars? Wot do ’e know about Mars? Why, to my knowledge, ’e ain’t bin out of his neighborhood for seven years." Fool-Killer. Small Bobby—What is a fool-killer, father? Father (ex-soldier) —The gun 'ha blows Into, son.