Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 272, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 November 1919 — Page 2

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A Reminder.

Hewitt—What a forgetful fellow Cruet Is. Jewett —That’S so; I don’t believe be would remember which his left side was if he didn’t have heart trduhie.

How’s This ? We offer 1100.00 for any case of catarrh that cannot be cured by HALL’S CATARRH MEDICINE. HALL’S CATARRH MEDICINE is taken internally and acts through the Blood on the Mucous Surfaces of the System. Sold by druggists for over forty years. Price 75c. Testimonials free. F. J. Cheney & Co.. Toledo. Ohio.

SMALL CHANCE TO GET AWAY

As It Happened, the Old Gentleman Was Placing the Blame Where It Didn’t Belong. “I don’t know what the young men of today are coming to,” said Mr. Smith. ‘‘ln my young days there .wasn’t any need for all this courting. The girls then —” But he was cut short by the coalscuttle which Mrs. Smith accidentally dropped on bls toes. * "I was only going to say, my dear,” he remarked, when he had recovered his composure, “that I wish the young fellow who is calling on Christabel would go away and let us get the house shut up. It’s past midnight!” At that moment there entered the small boy of The household. He had been, for the last hour or so, behind the draught-screen In the drawingroom, and vowed that he had enjoyed himself better than if he had been at a movie show. “I; isn't his fault, pa,” said the heir of the Smiths. “He can’t go; Christabel’s sitting on him!”

Utilization.

“Our friend Dustin Stax seems embarrassed sometimes, in spite of his fortune." "Yes,” observed MissCayenne;."he Is like- a friend of Jhine who thinks that because she inherited a fine grand piano she Is tinder obligatTOirs’.lO"!ty to play on it.”

The thicker the letter a woman /writes the less there is in it.

a., Off-Color Days -. • ( are usually the reflexion of some < . upset to bodily health- ' Goflee drinking usually exaggerates such conditions and frequently produces them. That’s why so many former coflee drinkers now favor * The Original Postum Cereal Boil fully fifteen minutes and a delightful beverage results. Fine for children as well ps grown-npa. , Everywhere at Grocers. . Two sizes, usually sold at 15c and 25c.

Universal Need.

What every young man’s heart de-| mantis is the gentle but firm authority of a queen. — . ;

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IN THE NATURE OF “BLUFF”

Rounder’s Excuse for Declining Coffee Was Somewhat Laughable, Considering the Circumstances. It was one of the days near the end of June, and young Bill, having to sustain a reputation as one of San Francisco's best town painters, had had a hard night. He looked it when, at* 9 o'clock in the morning, he wandered Into the hotel dining room to keep an appointment with a friend, who was just then at breakfast. “Hello, Jack,” Bill murmured, yawning. It appeared as if every syllable cost him untold effort. He sat down and rubbed his eyes with his firsts. He bit his lips to keep from yawning again. “Had breakfast?” Jack Inquired. “No,” the other replied. “Don’t want any.” “Well,” Jack Insisted, “have a cup of coffee, anyway.” Bill yawned again In spite of himself. “Don’t want any coffee,” he said. “It would keep me awake all day.”—San Francisco Chronicle.

First Impression.

•‘Well, I must be off.” “I thought so the first time I met you.’’,., _ - v -

Ninety-nine per cent of our politi-, clans’ would say "a heap more if they talked less. _ The experience a man buys Is alvskys delivered a )ittle*’ too late.

INING- REPUBLICAN. RENSSELAER. IND.

THE EV

Sammy’s Sudden Shift

By JOHN HAMILTON

fct, 1»19, by the McClure Newspaper Syndicate.) y Edwards, a taxi driver In town, fell under the spell of ust So In the autumn, when . ,tst of the four dClrcaaeijcame. ngerie superintendent for a ... sdick sent him to McGuire, • house” boss, and after talk,’i fGuire for ten minutes, Sam—qed back Into his taxi an ac- - " *icmber of the staff of the ,] Only, with orders to re- " ” iny morning. It was all settled, Sammy without any ado whatever, ' f Sir engagement. sit’s all the consideration I 1 you, Sam Edwards,” Kitty 4-jtly remarked, "all you get , after this Is none at ail. It’s Kff, and off for good. Here’s Kit,” expostulated Sammy, ’t get It at all. It’s only for ;......r. Look-it , I qualify as a v-ged keeper in a couple of 7S.Befoi-' the show goes out fancy trainer and go one trip « animal act —see? It'll get us )an I could save in three years E 7 old job—enough to start

"Two pu-pshaws and a pu-piflle!” Kitty, you see, worked in a paper-box factory. “Do you see much green in my eye? You’re going with the circus because you’ve gone nuts on it —like every little boy in this town. You in a ring act! In five months! You’ll be sweeping out cages the rest of your life—chambermaid to a smelly lot of animated old fur sets. You've lost out with me, Mr. Edwards. My husband’s gotta have a balance -wheel that can’t be queered by circus chariots. Goodby!” There was a finality about this that sent Sammy on his way without further word. Whereupon Kitty climbed two flights of stairs and wept copiously for art hour. Sammy didn’t spend all that winter just chamberinalding to cat animals. He got to be a keeper with a certain cage of peculiarly pernickety leopards as his most especial care. He soon learned, however, that he wouldn’t be in any ring act by next spring. It was January before McGuire would let him go into the leopard’s cage without a pointed iron bar in his hand, and February before he felt the least at home in that environment. But when March came, Sammy had got along so far that when he signed up for the touring season there was a clause in his contract giving him forty-five dollars a month extra for riding in that cage of spotted cats in the daily parade—and the show furnished the fleshings.

Opening in the “Garden” at New York, where circus parades have long been’ a thing of the past, the second booking was in the show’s —and Sammy’s—home town. As the fates would have it, -it rained pitchforks at the first day’s stand, and there was no parade. So that Sammy was called on to make his debut as an “animal king” before the eyes of his own townspeople. Also his first appearance in tights. ■ NowSaramyhad ? HOTei i Oease&tobe =^gS^ = Iff =^piflt =i nver == ffie Kitty Elwood. Even among the sylphs .whom he had encountered during the winter, praticing and rehearsing animal acts or careering about the ring in the equestrian pavilion, there had been none equal to thtf task” of displacing Kitty in his heart —and some very nice girls there were among them, at that. Wherefore, as Sammy climbed into his nest of feline revolutionists it was with mingled emotions that he assured himself that Kitty would certainly be somewhere in the street crowds and that she could not fail to see him. What would she think, he wondered. Jt. was < wav case. Cgt.atUmaUueX. nil kinds hate new surroundings—-wit-ness Tabby at home. It was. the first street parade. Caliph, the head devil of the leopard clan, detested the noise of band music. None of the family was overly fond of human beings, and crowds of them frazzled leopardian nerves completely. A leopard with rasped nerves is dangerous. To make it worse, the cats, thanks to delays in the costuming department, had never before seen Sammy in pink tights. And to top it all, Sammy was nervous himself — something a trainer has no earthly business to be, ever. And the more he thought of Kitty being somewhere in the crowd the more nervous he became. ,

The parade hadn’t gone two blocks before Caliph, sensing the unrest in his master, began to show his independence. He sulked every time he passed Sammy in that never ending promenade of the cage, glared at him sidewise and snarled —getting a rousing belt on the nose with Sammy’s rawhide that didn’t improve his temper. But Caliph wasn’t alone in his mood. Eliza, his big mate, never took her bftleful eyes off Sammy for an instant, While Hindoo, the biggest of the youngsters, kept his mouth open and his teeth bared two-thirds of the time. Eten Never and Forever, the hitherto fairly amiable cubs, frankly and open-

ly foreswore allegiance to the banner of King Edwards. It helped matters not at all that at the very first avenue crossing some one on the curb yelled: “Pipe Sammy Edwards all done up in pinkies! Gee, Sammy, but it briugs out the legs great!”—an extremely embarrassing remark, since Sammy from boyhood had been painfully conscious of his how limbs. Well, what with the’ animats katCg I " like the deuce and the kidding he got | from old acquaintances along the linfe, and what with —most of all — on tiie lookout for Kitty the eyes tha-y should have been attending very strict® ly indeed to the leopards, it happened.___ \ The fipotied beasts. -always the. bapu~~. of menagerie men’s existence at he’s • . _ were on the verge of getting out o hand when the cage reached that par ticular juncture of . two importan . „ thoroughfares where Sammy’s taxi ha been wont to stand o’ nights. Involuntarily Sammy let his eye divert from his snarling, feverishly pacing charges, to the old spot. An{. there, on the edge of the sidewalk stood Harriman, his old taxi days en ployer, and—evidently quite by acc. dent, just beside him —stood Kitty! Kitty was white, as Sammy’s glanc fell on her. Kitty was frightenee. For Kitty had been able to sense wha scarcely anybody in the crowd sus pected, for she had been investigatin; this animal business a deal in the las six months, had Kitty. She knew that things were goinj wrong in that cage. As h>r eyes an< Sammy’s met, she raised her hand Irone imperious, undeniable gest ire, anc through white lips screamed all |j the fanfare of the pageant, e’.Duck, " Sammy!” > r S|

Sammy ducked —and the razor-like claws of Caliph"*rnTssecT thinness of a whistle as thq snarling beast hurtled through the air. There -Tyras -whirl of tawny, black spotted bodies and a horrifying scrambling and snarling; an agile flashing of pink; one, two, three shots in the faces of — -< cats —and, like a ja of h,s box ’ Sammy emerge »g n( j 'the rear door of the cage, s’/one v m the hasp behind French uinps lie reached the sidCy* store ° Y or »/as no interlude. “Can I ip. my job back?” he demanded of .arrlmhn.

“You can,” replied Harriman. In just five seconds Sammy Edwards had quit one job and secured another. “Come on, Kitty,” he breathlessly urged, grasping .that almost fainting young woman by the arm; “I’ll borrow a raincoat in Ferguson's and we’ll go somewhere and have a little talk. You can’t kid me after the look that was on your face just now.” Kitty might, of course, have told him that she’d have felt just the same about a perfect stranger. But—oh, what was the use? She was too glad to.have him back alive.

SCHOOLBOOKS OF LONG AGO

Ancient Tablets Show That Children of Past Ages Studied Much as Do Those of Today. Professor Langdon of Oxford, Eng., has discovered that one group of the famous Nippur tablets stored at the University of Pennsylvania are In reality the oldest schoolbooks known to exist. They show, says the Christian Herald, that the children of the ancients learned much that the boys and girls of today have to study. According to these tablets the children of 4,200 years ago were taught arithmetic, geography, history and grammar just like the children of today. - < The. multiplication tables are remarkably distinct, and in plain numerals show the incontrovertible fact that three times one are three and five times one are five. On one tablet the school boy has been given a lesson in phonetic signs corresponding to the shorffiand of modern times. The Sumerians, the authors of these tablets, also invented the use of writing syllables and combining them into words. t?eing the first step toward the alphabet.

One Strange Result of War.

Strange, unknown flowers are springing up in shell holes and dugouts over the scarred surface of No ■Mari's land, ami many are the conjectures concerning the strange phenomenon. Botanists who have studied the strange plants have come to the conclusion that they have sprung from seeds buried in the earth for many decades. A well-known London botan-ist-in a recent discussion said: “It is known that seeds have been buried for upwards of 60 years without losing their power of germination. Seeds of corn and wheat buried with Egyptian mummies thousands of years ago have been planted out in the 20th century and have germinated in the ordinary way. It is quite possible that strange flowering plants—that is, strange to the local inhabitants —are now flowering in the French battlefields. The heavy shell fire which has torn up the earth may have created conditions for their growth after lying dormant so long.”

Return of the Wanderers.

“l*m kind df afraid of universal prohibition,” remarked Cactus Joe. ~ “ “But Crimson Gulch has Improved visibly.” “Yes. When the Gulch went dry the worst element of our little burg went on that near-by gin mill metropolis, Coyote Center. With universal prohibition they’re all -liable to think they might be jes’ a* well'off if they came back homa.”

Savory beans, Mexican peppers, choice bits of tender beef •—all in a hot Spanish sauce! Such is Libby’s Chili Con ’> Carnc —ask your grocer for a package today. Try it with rice, mashed potatoes or spaghetti —if s delightful. Libby, MSNeill & Libby, Chicago

How Pat Won Out.

- ixfous to travel for a big English in the ham line, an Irishman ob--1 an interview with the pro- ’ experience have you had?” . ikishiwan was asked. months,” was the answer. “Eighteen months!” scornfully repeated the proprietor. “What could you learn about bacon In that time? Why, I’ve, been studying for forty years/and don’t know half enough about it yet.” “Bedad,” exclaimed Pat, with a confident smile, “if I had been studying it for forty years, I’d know how to make a pig!” He got the job.

A critic is a grown-up boy who continues to throw stones.

I MM Healthy Chicks, More Eggs Assists Moulting—Good for Bowel Trouble and Other Diseases in Young Fowls RESULTS GREAT COST SMAL»? I purchased a box of B. A. THOMAS’ POULTRY REMEDY and began feeding according to directions. At that time my flock of 42 hens were only laying five to ten eggs per day. Today, one week from date of purchase, lam getting eighteen eggs per day. MRS. FANNY MOORE, Alma, Neb. B. A. THOMAS* STOCK REMEDY. Makes healthy, thrifty stock. Keeps them free of worms. A medicine, not a food. Very economical. B. A. Thomas’ Hog Powder “ Saves the Bacon” FARRIS’ COLIC REMEDY. For horse colic. The easy way. No drenching. A child can giveit. OLD KENTUCKY MANUFACTURING CO. - PADUCAH. KY. ~ ’ - lacoaroßAixo ... ' . ■ ■ t

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The Reason.

“I heard Nellie tell tiiat rich erank the other day that he was sweet enough to eat.” “That was her way of hinting he was a dough nut.”

If there’s nothing so deaf as an adder, sometimes there’s none as dumb as a teller.

The Only Cure.

“He’s money-mad.” “That’s a bad disease. Do you think he’ll ever get money enough to cure it?”

Don’t think he’s slow because of the Tortoiseshell he wears. Old age makes a specialty of discovering lost opportunities.