Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 267, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 November 1919 — CIGARETTES DO THIS. [ARTICLE]

CIGARETTES DO THIS.

thought maybe with all the cheap publicity stuff that some of these press agents have been slipping me the last fortnight or so someone might write me a letter so went down to the postoffice bright and early and went in and said good morning to the mail behind the window and he said not very its too cold so I didn’t want to argue a little thing like the weather with him and agreed that perhaps it might be. I said have you got any mail for me and he said what’s your name and I said don’t you kndw me and he said why should I know you so I told him I thought he was crazy br didn’t read the papers if he didn’t Know me and he said reading papers' had made him crazy and that’s the reason he didn’t read them no more. So I told the man my name and he said no there ain’t no mail for you and I said that’s funny surely someone must have wrote and he said he didn’t think anyone would be that foolish unless it was the sheriff or the asylum keeper and I said you think you’re funny don’t you. Then a woman came in asked me to stand aside and so I stood aside and she said to the man give me a stamp and he said I’ll sell you one and that I laughed loud and then the woman turns around and says who are you looking at and I said how do I know I don’t know everybody. Then the postoffice man gave her a two-cent stamp and she said no I don’t want that kind of a stamp I want two green ones and the postoffice man says what’s the difference this one will do just as well and she said how do you know and he said because two cents is two cents aid she said well I don’t like the color and the postoffice man said well I don’t think it will make any difference to the mail man what color the stamp is and the woman said well this letter ain’t for the mail man and the postoffice man said oh ain’t it. Then tjie woman said what time will this letter go out and the postoffice man said I don’t think there is

any danger of its.. getting out of the box for three or four days yet fine because it don’t have to go very and the woman says oh that will be far and there was plenty of time then she went out and I followed her and when I got to the front door I noticed that the postoffice man hadn’t washed off the windows where the boys had put soap on< them so I went back and told him his windows were dirty and he said what do you care and I said I don’t care only that I thought he didn’t know it and he said he didn’t know it until I told him for he hadn’t been down to the postoffice for four days and I said oh. ’Mrs. C. L. Murphy went to Chicago this morning and will visit with friends in that city and Berwyn, Hl., before returning home. •