Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 213, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 September 1919 — A FEW SMILES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

A FEW SMILES

Diplomacy.

“Traveling alone this trip, boss?” said the Pullman porter. “Yes, George,’’ replied the little man. “But why do you call me ‘boss’? The last time I was on your train you called me ‘chief.’ ” “Yes boss; but yotrr wife was

with you then, and I had a suspicion she would feel hurt to hear me call you ‘boss.’” / \ .

Professional Troubles. ‘‘Whatever became of that patient of yours you were telling me about last fall?” “Oh, he’s got a complaint now that’s giving me a great deal of trouble.” “Indeed! What is it?” “It’s about the amount of my bill.” Her Only Chance.

. “Poor old Miss Sklnnay goes /to every blessed “rummage’ sale. I wonder what she’s looking for.” I “Perhaps she expects to find a cast-off husband”

Hobbledehoy. “See that fellow yonder marking time? He must be a returned soldier." “No, he Isn’t That is Billings. He’s a great ladies’ man and he is practicing to keep In step wlth the girls who wear narrow skirts.” ■ 1 • ' ****"? Appropriate Accommodations. “By gorry, there Is no room In this country for them Infernal bolshevik! I” sternly dpclsred the landlord of the Palace Hotel at Peeweecuddyhump. “Well. I don’t knoW,” replied a weary looking guest. It seems to me that Incarceration In the room I occupied in this hotel last night would be none too bad for them.” : Worse Than War. Corporal—What’s the matter? You look more scared than when you were bucking the Hindenburg line. Private—Pm getting ready to go inside to ask the boss for my old job hark—Life