Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 212, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 September 1919 — HAVE A LAUGH [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

HAVE A LAUGH

True. . “Second thoughts are best,” said the. sage.. “ “ , “But you can’t do much thinking in a second,” maintained the utter dolt. Deductive Reasoning.

“Why do people say, ‘As dead as a door nail?’ ” asked the Boob. “Why is a door nail any deader than a door?” ; “Because it has been hit on the head, I suppose.”

An Atmosphere of Freedom. “Does your wife object to you running around with your man friends ?’’ —"Not my married man friends,” replied Mr. Dubwalte. “But she draws the line at bachelors.” “Why so?” “She says whenever I gjo out with a party of bachelors I always return home greatly depressed.” Kangaroo More Likely. Mother—And are you learning anything in your lessons in natural hist__ tory In school, Ethel? Ethel —I think I am, mamma. “What have you learned?” "Well, it’s taught me.to think that it wasn’t a cow that jumped over the moon at all; that it was a kangaroo,” Of Infinite Variety.

“My wife is a woman who always speaks her mind.” “Her conversation must be monotonous.” ‘ “Not at aIL She’s continually changing her

Not Exactly. WiseGuy—Speculating in stocks is nothing but fisherman’s luck. Shorn Lamb —Hardly that Fve sometimes gone fishing and succeeded in saving my bait