Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 202, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 August 1919 — HAD IT DOWN FINE [ARTICLE]

HAD IT DOWN FINE

Janitor’s Wife Evidently Profound Philosopher. Allowed No Differences of Opinion to ’Mar Her Happy Married Life— Sonje May Say She “Humored the Brute." “Excuse me, Mrs. Dimkln, but If there’s any cool feeling between you and Mr. Dimßin it has nothing to do with me and* I can do nothing but wish you to patch up your troubles and be. happy once again/’ The janitor's wife put down her mop as she spoke and stood with arnw akimbo. “But there te no quarrel,” replied Mrs. Dimßin, tearfully. “Really! Just a difference of opinion, so to speak.” “That's one thing people shouldn’t have, especially married ones, this here difference of opinion,” remarked the janitor’s wife. “The difference is in danger of getting worse until finally it's a break. “If a man wants to go to the ball game he should be let go. A woman shouldn't be always begging to go along. Baseball is a man’s game and a woman’s fad. No woman really likes baseball —she only pretends it so her husband will take her-along. “When Oswald, my husband, asks to go by the game I don't pester him to be on the next bleacher seat. I have better sense. If I get the habit of going to the ball game with him how do I know but what he may start asking me to take him by my knitting club? Not for me! “Maybe what you say, a difference of opinion, conies about cooking. What a man should eat lots of times causes trouble. If he hasn't got the same food ideas as. his wife she should have, the same agblru. I don’t like fmnan haddie —I hate it—but Oswald is more finnan haddie than a finnan baddie itself. “Then what do I do to save arguments? Why, when he says we will have finnan haddie for breakfast, or for dinner, I say: ‘Oh, Oswald, how glad I am you mentioned that delicate food ! I’m dying for a portion!’ “I like different talking-machine music than what he likes, but he don’t know it. He never knows that when a bagpipe solo Is on the machine 1 feel like jumping off the roof or something. He never guesses that a yodel makes me so sentimental I feel I sot to mop my eyes instead of the floo.r. “He wears a silk hat that Mr. Simmons gave him four years ago, and it makes him look like old Cap. Streeter, but he thinks he looks like someone he Saw in the movies —a feller called Bushman, I think —and I let him go on thinking it. “Would you advise me to start something and then we'd be like you and your husband is—have already a difference of opinion? No, Mrs. Dimkin. We are one happy couple and we’re going to stick that way. Maybe it’s my fault, but I’m satisfied and so is Oswald, I News.