Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 188, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 August 1919 — SHORT FURROWS. [ARTICLE]

SHORT FURROWS.

By Abe Martin. , [lndianapolis News.] Hon. Ex-Editur Cale Fluhart made a long, impassioned appeal t’ th’ people, t’day’t’ curtail' ther expenses an’ return t’ th’ simpler modes o’ livin’. He spoke on th’ puiblic square an’ declared that th’ only /way t’ combat th’ high cost o’ Ivin’ wuz t’ cut out th’ necessities an’ go barefooted. Follerin’ are some o’ th’ high spots in Mr. Fluhart’s address:

Fortunately th’ high tide o’ prices has hit us at a season o’ th’ year peculiarly favorable t’ light diet an’ bare feet. We used t’ shine our own shoes whereas we now pay $1,359,576 annually int’ th’ coffers o’ ith’ Greek. Women used t’ wash ther own hair,, but t’day ther’s a half dozen beauty parlors in ever’ ibuMim’ in town an’ no peceptible increase in beauties. We used t’ slick up on Saturday night, /but now we’re dolled up all th’ time. We used t’ write pustal cards, but now we wire on th’ slightest provocation. We used f be content with Niagary Falls once a Year, but now we’re alius on th’ go. i (Farmers didn’ used t’ know any better, but now ther educated an’ discontented. We used t’ run (three blocks t’ see a due, an’ now we’re all dudes. You kin buy a pair o’ socks or a fairly decent lookin’ steag fer what it costs t’ have your nails manicured. Calico is no longer worn ’cept m th’ reformatories. Ytou kin keep a cow fer iwhat it costs t’ wear silk stockin’s. Years ago th’ doctors occasionally operated on somebuddy o’ great consequence, but t’day ever'buddy you meet is jest out from under th’ knife, or ’ll be ripped open t’morrow. Years ago th’ president o th Peoples Bank kept a hbss an’ phaex»n. T’day you can’t cross th' street (er autos. T’day a feller don’t think no more o’ gittin’ a auto overhauled than he used t’ think o’ buyin’ a new mainspring. Th’ fillin’ stations take in twice as much as th’ ole time saloon an’ set no free lunch. A feller now spends as much on his wife’s fPet as he used t’ spend on his home. We used t’ keep th’ butter in th cistern, but now we buy 45-icent ice. We used t’ make a pitcher o’ lemonade occasionally, but now we take th’ whole, family t’ th’ sody fountain ever’ evenin’. “7‘ We used t’ 'have chicken dinners at home, but now we buy ’em out at two dollars a plate, no includin’ gasoline an’ wear on tires. We usqp t’ carry a umbreller, but now we wear a $35 rain coat. A feller used t’ have a wild, reckless Saturday night on fifty cents, includin’ shave an’ Floridy water, but t’day you don’t git as much change back from a dollar as you used t’ git from a dime. We used t’ live at home, but t’day we only git our mail there.