Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 183, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 August 1919 — HAVE A LAUGH [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

HAVE A LAUGH

The Tie That Bound. Lawyer—On what grounds, madam, do you- wish a divorce from your husband? . Client —Why, I married him for his money, and he has lost everything. • Or? Husband (on a

birthday present buying expedition) What size hosiery would a lady wearing a No. 3 shoe require? Saleslady—l beg your pardon, but, listen, does she carry a bank account, or—

Too Advanced. Tony Spagoni was having his throat examined at the infirmary. “Say ‘ch-h-h,’ ” said the doctor. v “Me no spik Englees,” said Tony. To Get Back. “At twenty you left the farm and came t® the city. And for thirty years you have been working like hades. What for?” “In order to get money enough to live in the cpuntry.” Hit the Duke.

“No. duke, my father would never put up a million dollars to buy a tltleJ’ “Then why did you encourage my attentions?” “I was just shopping.”

Nailed Down. “Got a dollar, Jones?” “Yeah, I got one.” “Will you lend it t’ muh?” "Nope; that’s th’ reason I got one.” Wanted Too Much. Customer—That doesn’t seem a very good fit. Dealer —Vot you exspect for ’leven tollars—an attagk of epilepsy?