Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 159, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 July 1919 — ON THE FUNNY SIDE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

ON THE FUNNY SIDE

Continuing in the Old Way. "Do you act toward your wife as you did before you married her?” “Exactly. I remember just how 1 used to act when I first fell In love with her. I used to lean over the fence in front of her house and gaze at her shadow on the curtain, afraid to go in. And I act just the same way now when I get home late.”—London TitBits. Perseverance. “This “is the third time you have tried to explain that proposition to me!” • “Is it?” said the care-worn statesman. “I’ll try to choose somebody else next time. You see I’m .hopeful that if I try to explain It often enough I may come to understand ft clearly myself.” Nearer Problem. “I say. are you thinking of getting in your winter coal?” “No; more concerned about not getting a freeze out on my summer ice.” Had to Divorce Him to Get It. “I understand she married him for his money.” “Did she get it?” “Finally, in the form of alimony.”' Sensing Affinities. “The young soldier yonder looks as if he has just nosed his powder.” “So he has. The girl just back of him just powdered her nose.” Same Thing. “I lost a lot of money at bridge this week.” “I didn’t know you played bridge.” “I dofl’t, but my wife does.”

GEORGE’S GUESS. "Oh, George, I wonder how anyone could say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.’’ “I guess that must mean the absence of a third party." . ~,A. ■ ■ Another Paradox. Praised for his open hand and free Is old storekeeper Dan, Yet ever since we've known him he Has been a sell-flsh man. —Boston Transcript. Contrary to Form. "The lawyers are lyftg lew in that case.” “That’s strange. I expected they’d! do some tall lying In It.” J» 11 ■■ - •- Trap for Field Mice. v Catching mice in large numbers in orchards and fields is the purpose of a new trap made principally of glass. Rather Vague. fl hear Mrs. Blink follows her husband like a dog. Wouldn’t you hate to be the spaniel type-?” “That doesn’t. follow. Bloodhounds do It, Reversed Position. “Here’s an advertisement says, ‘Lost, a long lady’s black purse.’ ” “Say, that lady’s not long; she’s short.” Resigned to Conditions. “You can’t expect everything to go along smoothly-all the time.” "I don’t. I’ve got a flivver and a motor boat.” A Star Course. She —What course do you intend to pursue at college, Reggie?. Reggie—Burlesque and principally. Not In Public. » “They seem to be happily married.*’ “Yes. If they do quarrel they manage somehow to have their disagreements in the privacy of their own hqme.” A Difficult Aspiration. "You depend on the wisdom of thei plain people I” s “Yes,” replied Senator Sorghum; “but while the plain people out my way are getting their wisdoms! want to be on hand as much as possible, aa their instructor.’’ , . .... ■ d Her Qualifications. "Dop’t ask that girl to the ball. She’a only fit for a garden party.” “How so?” “Don’t you see she’s wall-eyed and what a gait she has on?”