Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 144, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 June 1919 — SCRAPS OF HUMOR [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SCRAPS OF HUMOR

Some Hope. “Cholly, do you ever intend to quit smoking cigarettes?” “Deah boy, why should I?” “Because if you don’t they will kill you.” “Well, when they do, deah boy, ni quit.” Bill Rendered. Dalton —You should pay more attention to your personal appearance, old chap. Remember that clothes make the man. Deßroke —Yes, but for me the man refuses to make any more clothes: A Quid Pro Quo.

“Why do you women go to bargain sales to get something for nothing?” “Why do you men go to poker clnbs to do the same thing?”

No Escape. “Ah, laws. They prate of the time when dreams come true. Before I was married I used to hope every day . I’d meet the lady before the day ended.” “And now that you are married?” “I gotta meet her. Can’t get away from it.” * Dashing Joy. Mabel —George gave me such a lovely diamond engagement ring. Muriel—But he’ll want you to give It back to him when he gets engaged to another girl. He always does. Very Likely.

“My policy is never say die.” “But you’ll change it quick en o ugh when . your hair begins to tom gray.”,

His Place. “What place does that queer fellow fill In his mechanical business?” , “Oh, I guess they use him anywhere they need a crank.” - Misunderstood. “Our salmon are nice and fresh, mum.” “Er—have they roes?” , “Well, yes, mum, the price Is | bit higher.” • : V