Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 127, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 May 1919 — SMILES FOR ALL [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SMILES FOR ALL

Off Duty. “When the reporter called on Mme. Topoffsky she was reclining on a divan in a ‘Lucille’ negligee, smoking a cigarette and feeding bonbons to her poodle while a solicitous maid hovered in the background.” •‘What’are you describing anyway? A prinia donna in her boudoir? “No. One of our parfor bolshevik! resting after a strenuous meeting held in behalf of the downtrodden masses.” Lame Excuse. “H enr y. I’m

ashamed of you.” “What’s the matter, my dear?" “I caught you flirting with that waitress.” *TwasjusttryI Ing to establish the entente cordlale, my love. That’s the only way to get any service in this place.”

Brutal Materialism. “Too many husbands,” said Senator Kendrick in a discussion of divorce, “take a brutally materialistic view of marriage. , “ ‘I don’t want my wife to go away,’ a banker said in my hearing the other day. “Moved, I patted him on the arm. “ *Ah, you dread the separation, eh?’ I said. - \ “ ‘Yep,’ he “‘answered curtly—*the separation from the coin.’ ”

Taken by Surprise.

“What happened! in the parloj, sis?” I ‘‘Mr. Timmtd I started to kiss me.” “Weren’t you surprised?” “Yes, I was so surprised that I fear I got matters all bungled up.” ■ s

. Had to Be. “I hear' the newlyweds across the street had a falling out yesterday.” “How was that?” “Their rear tire blew up.” V. ' Better Case. “I wonder why Jones allows his wife to domineer over him. He has the natural right to rule in the family.” - “Yes. but she has the rich uncle?,'