Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 54, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 March 1919 — SCRAPS OF HUMOR [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SCRAPS OF HUMOR

Still Saving. “You are no

longer -interested in daylight saving.” “Yes, I am,” said Farmer Corntossel. ‘The only way to save daylight - now is to , work hard while it lasts.”

Up-to-Date. “And you need not try to conceal yourself behind the skirts of your wife!” v “Huh! You don’t know what you are talking about. My wife’s skirts don’t even conceal her.” ? New Form. “Now gentlemen of the jury,” began the old lawyer. Hearing a cough from his partner, he stopped abruptly. “I beg pardon. Now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury!” The Place for Modern Matches. “I wish these

matches were in the infernal regions,” exclaimed the man who was I trying to light a cigarette. “So do I,” answered the serious citizen. ~ “It would be slow work kindling the fires of punish-

ment.” No Idle Interlude. “What do you do to pass the time when politics has adjourned?” inquired the innocent bystander; - -- ~ 7 “My friend,” replied Senator Sorghum, “the poet has said, ‘All the world’s a stage.’ The busiest work is not done In the public performances, but in the rehearsals.” - Not Making Any. Traveler (In smoking car) —Could I trouble you for a match? Champion Pugilist (absently)—Not till I finish my vaudeville engagements. *