Evening Republican, Volume 22, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 February 1919 — The Temperamental Boob [ARTICLE]

The Temperamental Boob

By H. B. KNIGKT

<&>pyrl«ht. McClure Newepaprr Sjndlcat*.» '“Y e p that’s right; I want tn sec the editor in chief of the Courier* and Want to see him quick '” To the utter amazement of the little boy in knickerbockers xtlm sat. in -the hallway leading, to the ediioiinl -office "the giiuit pulillslilug himw w lull ami lean visitor, Kith a general dapper appearance, made the above remark in an indifferent and even bond sort of tone. In a second the office boy was on his _fe£t» and not .carelessly leaning back in his chair, with his feet upon the much worn and misused, varnish-scratched table, as though his only concern and ambition were to shirk and kill,time.' “Your card, please," respectfully said TTKeTWwuihgjpoungster?' The lanky newcomer looked sur'art!" ' he queried; unbelievingly. “No card I Tetl the editor in chief that a genHcman wishes to see Irin) —ftftd hurry: There’s no use in my giving you my card; the editor doesn’t- know me. anyway." A Bewildered by the visitor’s impunity, the boy looked hnn over from bead to foot. How neat ami clean-ciii was his mien.’ But a eloser observation re*, •scaled t hat his patrician, appearance was .artificial. Ills' cTfithes were td e«*J»ensive texture. indeed. but shiny spots about- the knees betrayed their years of wear* llis shoes Were genuttjwqiat®at leathers, but so much worn that wrinkles showed ex eh ;n the proliisely colored tops; and the soles seemed thinner than paper. To erown it all, linen and hosiery l»ore the familiar uhfiubstantial shade and transparentness common to all cheap wear; and the flowing “silk” tie came direct from the window of a teh cent store. Calculating on the “value for gold” Standard, the at first interested urban, and even servile boy now appeared disgruntled. For a moment he revered the commanding stranger. Now he thought different. “What dya think you arey scoffed the little ruffian; “man or half a man? The editor wouldn’t see anyone without first knowin’ his mime an’ learnin’ his business —”

“It’s about some interrupted the newcomer, in an agitated, impatient sort of way. The boy went on talking nonsense, the self-confessed writer, suffering acute torture and waiting for Seconds that seemed ages. “You see. Bud." now a little more ambitiotisly disposed, once the apparent hauteur of the caller had vanished. ”I—ahnost got canned once for“tettin’ in a crazy poet that thought he was the marvel of the world, before the boss could decide whether he (.the latter) was iftor m > t." -r- -- — — -

"May 1 see the editor in chief?” anew demanded the eager frantic writer. "Gimme your card, first." repeated the cruel and heartless urchin. it!” ejaculated the young man. ’’Again I lose!" His voice was spiced with' vain. sorrow and despair. Then he -drew a deep breach and sii'uigliTenevi tn’mself out. Ignoring the boy's reply, he muttered determinedly. . half to the !is;. nor nd hail' {<• himself t .- —? With this |»tThs utsolunon tn tntiHl h<T hastened put of the unfriendly hall, into the elmator. down i irro— 111 e --t H-rt w street, i’lid it, a few minutes .found himself on Times square, deliberating by what subway In, might get farthest away from what in his opinion were narr<>w-minded ; hated, exclusive jour-naiis-s who set tbcir watchdogs. in. person of office boys, out to ’hinder young raient like him sell from proving their ’•art." But where could he go? Never-end-ing traffic irr streams moved down the streets, and nudging people flocked and crowded the He glanced at the peaceful green of the square; even there were people. After a lux!fhjbzen ■unkenjpphoys had offered to shine his boots for a "jitney" he managed to make,his way to one of the benches and sat fiown among-a dis, tinguished company, cons’sth g of resting business men. habitual -air breathers" t-.-l ordinary -■: :: . .mlatmospitgre, exactly the kind for a temperamental tramp or poet. From above towered .in midst of other skyscrapers the redoubtable Singer building. The youth gazed at its loftiness. His eyes blinked in the blinding radiam-e of the searing sun. and he ... ahrnyged his shoulders in absolute disgust. ' ■ , --r— — . You are arr "~a ss edr “Yep. Bill Willikins. you're an ass You thought—you'd be rich some day. but you’re not. You thought you'.d have the price of a Singer building, but you won't. You haven't even got a girl. You're no good—absolutely no good ! " With this highly encouraging opinion of himself he succeeded in some-, what depressing his spirits. In a frenzy, suddenly he snatched a large envelope from an inside coat pocket and tore it to shreds. He felt that in doing this he had wreaked a horrible Vengeance upon the world—and, really, he felt nieftn with it- i He dug his hands deep in his pockets and continued brooding. •You boob! You wanted romance, and now you’v® got it. You left a good borne and a swell girl-—and got disjin-

Periled for it. Now she's going to marry n Hindu' You thought you'd be<wiK' a wonder In New York. You slant your last ten bucks for a typewriter. Nnxr fhr Wiii'l.v'* Hml xuu out into the street. Bill Willikins, I agree with you. you're an ass:" I»ow nheartrdness his only sense of feeling. Bill’s mind noon became exhausted with all he sorrowed and pined oxer his hard luck. His worries ■ ll:HlPi'fVCfiTeiriYThl from KU‘Vplng XXell nights and he had not eaten Just us much as his young and: ravenous appetite required. Then, too, he felt wejik ami tired. Before long slumber welcomed his disconcerted mind. Sweet dreams came to him, as they come to all the crestfallen. weary mid sad. He dreamed that he was home, ami the Singer millions his\ And the • Jlindu. too. had not won his sweet- 1 heart, but had gone to where he be“longed. in the East. His first and childhood Jove xvas his wife.' Once,; more he was rhyming and chanting songs of love to the girt who- had been his inspiration and caused him to come to the great, writhing Babel and Strive against fate. He had reached his goal —realized his ambition. Love find not trifled with him; it had made him and the unite whom ho so fondly adored liappy. -But the delectable. beauflftrix isiem rftri not last long.—; He was soon awakened by a sharp, stinging rap on the skin-thick soles of his shne<. His beauteous tlirill vanished. The blood no longer tingled in intoxicated*fascination in his veins; itboiled in incensed passion at his indulgence in allowing himself to doze away and thus bring him info the dutches of the l&W.

He endeavored to collect his senses and- try-and--elude dttress nt the hnnds of the being who disturbed his nap. He stretched himself and yawned for time. Something flapped poignantly against his nose, fluttered with “the xxlnd. in his eyes. pStowßr he opened his sleepy organs of vision, wondering what it might be. The sunlight was v<ux strong, li.ut he sm'ceeded in making out an inscription—-it was his name. -11.- had to blink several times before he could really see, for Ol’ Sol’s camles»‘enee hurt his somniferous sight. Now he grasped the paper in bis hands and read it in a spell-bound, increditiPg xvonder and astonishment. Evidently he did not believe what he saw, for he rubbed his eyes and pimhed himself to ascertain that he things" un nee. Another sharp wallop greeted his surprise. He turned up his eyes to the unknown bystander, who held up his feet. , “Wake up, sleepy poet—l've decided to take you - back I_ guess I . was wrong." His surprise was even greater when he discovered that the imaginary minion was his stubborn and bigoted father. who always loved to have his own way. His heart beat loud for joy when he beheld the second person. He wished to speak, but his tongue be“rSuiemnralyzed.’ ““Darling” was all he 'l'he girl’s buxom countenance became suffused in red. She attempted to hide her deep emotion by saying:

"The Courier will publish in book form the scripts—the, er. very personal and friendly verses that you wrote to me from the time we were little children." . ... "They are your-property?’ interposed honest Rill. "No. they're yours." argued the just girl; "yvu wrote them. And this is the initial check for one thousand. The company is famous for its word. The provisions—sor —royalties —that —I-hn v e made will be faithfully carried but.” ——"A-nr'r." continued the youth, huskily, -*yrotT good—you remember the old contract r xvill H- be (■itrnt’tbTHitz -MaPjori^^'—~ The girl could no longer control her emotions. "It will." she said, in a moved voice, ami buried her blush in the boy's arms, even if it was broad daylight and the hundreds who teemed Times square did laughingly look-upon them.