Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 275, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 November 1918 — Page 1 Advertisements Column 3 [ADVERTISEMENT]

The trouble with the man who has nothing to say is that he isn’t happy until he says it. You may have noticed that most of the gluttons have a mighty poor appetite for work. Our idea of a henpecked hueband is one whose wife makes him rock Fido to sleep every night. A single man imagines that it takes two to make an argument. But a maried man knows better. Any old man can tell you that he has had a lot of trquble in his timie, most of which never happened. The difference between a man and a gun is that you can’t say that you didn’t know the man was loaded. No small boy has ever been arrested for exceeding the speed limit when his mother sent him on an errand. Culture is great stuff. • But calling it a pain in the Abdominal Region won’t make a Stomach Ache hurt less.

You can’t be right 100 times but if you are wrong the next time the world will always remember that yob were wrong. Women are so contrary that if the street cars were to run backward the women would turn around and get off the other way. When two better halves get marred some divorce lawyer is going to have money enough to take a vacation the following summer. There are mighty few sure things in this world. But you can always safely bet that a woman is older than she thinks she looks. One good thing about walking hi the straight and narrow path is that a fellow is never in any danger of being caught in a crush. A kiss on .the forehead does not always denote respect for her intellect. Sometimes it denotes respect for the onions she has been eating. If there are any children in the house it only takes about a day to make the family wash rag look like it were used to clean the shoes. Advertising in the classified eotarnn