Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 271, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 November 1918 — ARKANSAS “THOMAS SCATS" [ARTICLE]

ARKANSAS “THOMAS SCATS"

J. E. Cross says he has been efr vised to “believe only half he heaH|» but he doesn’t know tfhich half. ——> • A' South Hot Springs woman is so jealous she makes her husband leave his false teeth at home when he goes .out at night - ” **- ■ ’ .'J.. Lv'- --*-''.. -r..' The Germans are forced to wear paper, underwear and eat mullen-leaf soup.—Memphis 4 Commercial-Appeal. Well, this is their war. Notice! Anyone bringing in three paid-up subscriptions to the Thomas Cat one year will get a free ride out to the cemetery and back.

In a Ijlot Springs restaurant the other day three of the patrons knocked the coffee, but we-"don’t believe we ever heard a complaint on tea. How should one address that new woman judge the president has appointed in Washington—“your honoress,” “your honorine,” or "your honorette?” —• ' To Bessie Fluzzie: If you are a “jealous woman,” why employ a “private detective?*? You can Imagine as much in a minute as he can discover in a year. • x There are not many divorces in the homes in which mother spends more time over the cook book than she does over “The Passionate Pups” or some other best seller. Cheer up! Maybe if you had Jawn Dee Rockefeller’s millions and his stomach you would be glad to be poor again and be equipped with the old reliable hash digester you now possess. fahen a married woman congratulates a bride, she says: “I hope you will be as happy as I am.” A married woman always makes a bold front and hopes no one will suspect the real truth. In the Snagtown circuit court the other day old John RtftMy< who was up for a divorce case, was asked by the judge what he wanted. John replied that “some six months ago he embarked on the sea of ipatrlmony and now wishes he had missed the boat."