Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 258, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 November 1918 — I LOVED A LASSIE [ARTICLE]

I LOVED A LASSIE

■ ~,1 loved a thin girl, but she was too thin. I loved a tat girl, but shewas awfully fat ••... I loved a tan but she was a baby giraffe. I loved a short girl, but I could only see the top of her hat I loved a religious girl, but she was always at a meeting. I loved a free-thinker, but she insisted on living in Greenwich village. I loved a good fellow, but she was, well, just a little free in her cups. I loved an outdoor girl, but she always wore a middy blouse. I loved a cabaret queen, but she painted her cheeks red. > I loved a girl with a brain, but she looked like Banqpo’s ghost I loved a simple lass, but she stuttered. I loved a chorus girl, but she ate onions. I loved an athletic girl, but she had a disagreeable habit of slapping me on the back. I loved a pretty little thing, but her father was a plumber. I loved a girl with beautiful eyes, but she kalsomlned her nose. I loved a Red Cross nurse, but she went away. ‘ I loved a minister’s daughter, but she was too gay for me. I loved a debutante, but she couldn’t get up an appetite for breakfast without three cocktails. , \ And then, all of a sudden, just like that— I loved a girl who- wasn’t too thin nor too fat, neither too tall nor too short, not unduly sanctimonious and yet who had decent scruples, taking her glass of port, but no more; dancing as well as she played tennis, serious at times and not addicted to foolish remarks; pretty of course, with eyes, hair, nose, lips, shoulders and all that sort of thing—merciful heavens, how I loved her — But she existed only in my imagination.—Franklyn Everett Fitch, in Judge.