Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 258, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 November 1918 — IN THE CITIES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

IN THE CITIES

Much-Married Man Might Tempt Fortune Again ■'■—— ■ -I * ST. LOUlS.—Jesse Otley Gibbs hasn’t had enough of women yet And he’» had six wives! Hearken to Jesse’s answer to the query: “Do you think you might marry again?” Here’s the answer: ...

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe if the right kind of a girl came along—a country girl who could make pies—you know the kind of pies, with flaky crusts —and if she owned a farm and had no ear for music—and didn’t object to a man’s going out nights—well —maybe; who can tell?” But chances are against any more wedding bells for Jesse for some time. Y’see, he’s under $5,000 bond pending a hearing because two of the previous six wives got together and ascertained

there was a lack of divorces between Jesse’s matrimonial alliances. But Jesseis no more changeable in his affections that he is in bis statements. For a short time before he had admitted that he might “fall” for “a country girl who can make pies,” he had given vent to the following expression in his cell at the police station: “ ‘Women I Help, heaven! Men their creation mar in profiting by them. “I read that in Shakespeare and ain’t it the truth? “Yes, sir. I’m off ’em for good.' If I ever get out of this I’m going to build me a nunnery—l mean a monastery —somewhere in Tibet and put a sign up: ‘No Women Allowed!’ But even then I suppose they’ll find out where I am and want to marry me. “Of all of my wives, I liked Rose Lynn the best. She was No. a, you know To tell the truth, we were never legally married. All the rest have got divorces and the only wife I know anything about now is Helma Swanberg. the last one, who caused all the trouble. “Wives are the easiest things in the world to get—and the hardest to get rid of. Wink at a woman or chuck her under the chin and she thinks you’re proposing. ‘Oh, this is so sudden!’ she cries, and the first thing you know you’re nailed.” Yes, Jesse is considerably changeable. ,

Chickens Caused Purchaser All Kinds of Trouble • - NEW YORK—This interesting police court tale concerns the chameleonlike tactics of three chickens that turned black in the ice box of their purchaser overnight and which caused the purchaser all kinds of trouble and

distress and finally resulted in his appearance in the Heights police court . on charges of attempted felonious assault and carrying a weapon. The principal actors in the feathery drama are August Heithaus. a resident of Hackensack, N. J., and Julius Schoenbach, a poultry depler with an establishment in New York. The testimony showed that Heithaus, who Is the proprietor of a pool and billiard parlor, was passing the complainant’s store On his way to Fort

Lee ferry. Heithaus entered the store and told Schdfenbach to wrap up the fowl. The billiard man said he took them home and put them in the ice box ana J then the trouble started. He stated that early next morning a peculiar odor permeated the house and he and his wife traced the smell to the refrigerator. Heithaus told Judge Nolan that the chickens had turned black, and that he and his family had dined on chicken that day. He stated all became ill less than an hour after the dishes had been cleared away. He sa • lie summoned the family doctor; and after putting the family to bed, had contracted a large physician’s bill. Mqgistrate Nolan decided that Heithaus should face trial for both charges and held him under SSOO bail for possessing a pistol without a permit and under SI,OOO on the attempted felonious'assault complaint.

Sad but Not Unusual Ending to Youthful Dreams CHICAGO.— George Slove and Ernest Marmorstein, the twelve-y.ear-old boys who set out to conquer the world with an air gun, will eat off the mantelpiece for 41 week. For yesterday, after a memorable night in an Elgin police

station, the boys were turned over to their respective parents for further treatment. The boj* left Chicago two days ago, taking an electric train, which happened to be going to Elgin. Simultaneous with their departure, SIOO that George Slove’s father had put. away for the winter coal disappeared. t It was while they were stocking up for their long trip with cans of

sardines, sausage, matches, bread and other essentials of camping that the storekeeper, suspicious of their large roll of bills, notified the police. ' 'The air guns, previously purchased, were returned to the dealer for $4, something less than the purchase price’. Besides these the boys had bought boy scout blouses and hats, a hunting knife and innumerable sodas. • Ernest spoke lightly of the escapade and smiled at the memory of the ice cream he had consumed. > But George, the real instigator of the scheme, must bear the heavier punishment He is held in solitary confinement by an Indignant mother, who can t quite forgive him for being the first of her 11 children to break the law.

Proving You Can’t Keep a Good Man Down KANSAS ClTY.—When Uncle Sam gave up that early idea of organizing u “regiment of runts” for service in France, there wasn’t an unhappier young man In the world tnan Frank Mills. Already he had picked out a boy scout uniform to wear to war, and he had a

notion that nowhere else in the service awaited a welcome for a man who’d fit into It. But Frank did his best, anyhow. Army, navy, marine corps, tanks; aviation, signalers, intelligence; cavalry, infantry, artillery—Civilian Mills tried ’em all. But even when he stood on tiptoe he rose to no grander height than 4 feet 11 and the recruiting officers would have none>f him. Frank had

registered for the draft from 3928 West Sixty-third place\and he began pestering local board 68. He became a daily visitor at the board s offices and each vidt saw him with a brand new reason why that tittle matter of an Inch or two shoSldFt be permitted to make any difference In his case. Finally the board smtiXdA guard at the window and all doors were locked at Frank s approach One day he slipped past the lookout. The threshold passed, he made a most disresDectful sign at the exemptors. time I was here made 31 tries I’d made for France. You can’t keep a good man out of this war. Today I made it 32 and the Red Cross took ma. “Hoo-ray!" . .