Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 258, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 November 1918 — Adrift with Humor [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Adrift with Humor

A COMPROMISE. Patience—Has Peggy got her divorce yet? Patrice —Not yet “Why, she expected to get it last week. Hasn’t the case got In court yet?” “Oh, yes.” “She asked for $25,000, didn’t she?” “Yes, I believe so, but the amount asked was so large the case was compromised.” “Compromised? She’d never take a penny less than $25,000, I hope.” “Well, her husband said he couldn’t pay that much.” “How much did he pay?” “Nothing; it seems they Just kissed and made up.”

A Fighting Top. “And what is that up there?" asked the lady visiting the battleship. “That’s what is called a fighting top,” replied the sailor showing her around. “What is it for?” “Well, you see, lady, we have a great many mice and rats on this ship, and when a lady comes aboard and the rodents make their appearance, the lady climbs up there and throws things at ’em.”

CONDITION OF THE MARKET.

Mrs. Tonguesmith—lt won’t do you any good to say a word. Talk is cheap. Mr. Tonguesmith—Yes, my dear. The supply is so far in excess of the demand. Gosh. In days of old. when knights were bold Book agents were in fettle r Fou dassent kick a man, I’m told. His cants were made of metal. Not So Long as It Seemed. Nell —Miss Passay says Mr. Golden proposed to her on Wednesday night, but she didn’t give him her answer until Bell—ls that’s true, Hl wager he proposed at 11:59 p. m. and was accepted at 12:01 a. m.—London Tit-Bits. Resemblance. - “What kind of a golf game does Piute Pete play?” “Good deal same as his poket game,” replied Broncho Bob. “A whole lot o’ conversation that you mostly can’t believe a word.of."

Rather Interesting. “I find the professor’s statistics stupid.” “I don’t. He told me there were 400.000,000,000 people in the world, and that I was the prettiest girl in the lot.” —Peason’s weekly. He Sure Musta. “Say, Albert” said his wife, “who was it that said he’d rather be right than president?” "I dunno,” explained Albert, “but he musta been some guy what had a mighty poor opinion of president’s.” His Method. Wigg—Young Gotrox is a mighty entertaining fellow. He can perform a lot of tricks of magic. Wagg—Yes, I have frequently seen him make a twenty-dollar bill look like thirty cents.

Too Much. • The Club Man —What’s this I hear about you and your wife having trouble? Before you were married you told me you would go to the ends of the earth together. The Married Man—Yes, but I didn’t know she wanted to go there in a taxicab. < A Futarity. He—Don’t you think my mustache becoming? She—lt may be, but it hasn’t come yet.—Brunoian, \ ■ ? -J t