Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 255, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 October 1918 — A FEW LITTLE SMILES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

A FEW LITTLE SMILES

JUST TO PLEASE HER!, “Do you think, darling,” she asked when they had returned froin their wedding trip, “it is possible for anybody really to love more than once?” “No, sweetheart,” he replied. “You are not saying that just to make me happy, are you?" “Of course not.” “But you would say it to make me happy, even if you didn’t believe it, wouldn’t you, dearest?” “Certainly. I’d do anything or say anything to make you happy.” “There, now I shall never be able to believe anything you tell me. Oh, why—why did I ever marry d liar?” — Dayton News.

. To Entertain Herself. Mrs. Redd —Pm going to call on you tomorrow afternoon. Mrs. Greene —Very good; but I expect to be out for a short time. If I am not at home, entertain yourself uatil iny return. “How am I to entertain myself, pray?” - ». “Oh, you’ll find flve mirrors in the parlor.”

TEACHING WOMAN’S RIGHTS.

“Who’s getting scolded in your house now?” , “Nobody. That’s Just ma teaching pa a few reasons why women ought to vote.” •

Physical Impossibility. Unless broad thinking is your plan You’re doomed to some mistake. It’s plain a narrow-minded man Cannot be wide awake. , ", Other Worries. ’ “Does golf Improve your health?” “No,” replied Mr. Gllthersby, despondently. “But" I should think fresh air, exercise and the interest one naturally takes in the game would help you forget your business cares.” “Oh, it does, but I play such a poor game that my golf cares keep me In a bad humor all the time.”

An Audience in Themselves. “Much of an audience at the opening performance of the new show?” “Yes, all the collaborators were there.”

Oh, P-f-f-f! ’ Tillie—Ah see, dey done found yo’ husban’ guilty on fouah counts. Mandy—Yes, and I doano how they done it, kase he’s the mos’ no ’count man Ah eber se in mah whole life. Getting His Measure. “Is that new member a good talker?” “Well,” replied Senator Sorghum, he’s a wonder for endurance. But he doesn’t class up very well for speed.”

Intact. The Visitor —And what makes you think your son has lots of music In him? . ! The Other—Why, no one has ever got any out And Spilled the Beans Besides. Mrs. Glddigad—l head that Mrs. Fusserly’s hair became white in a single night. She must have met with some terrible misfortune that caused It. Mrs. Noatall—She did. She upset her hair dye one evening while on a camping trip, twenty miles from civilization. ' 7 Pens-ive. First Feller —And say both your sons are making a living by their .pens? Second Feller —Judge for yourself. One of them is the leading hog raiser In the country, and the other writes home from college. 1 H. - Relaxation. ''"Got another detective story?” “Yes. Read ’em for relaxation." “Getting so excited you can't shut the book up till three o’clock in the laorning—d’you call that relaxation?**