Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 253, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 October 1918 — SHORTONROMANCE [ARTICLE]

SHORTONROMANCE

Some Eminently Prosaic Proposals of Marriage. —————— Hardly as Picturesque as the Qtiltetf Form. 80 Popular with Lover, in the Pages of Fiction, but as - ’ Perhaps the romantic proposals ofi fiction are more picturesque than the usual proposals of real life; the fact that lover* are reluctant witnesses make it hard to tell. But certainly the queer or comic proposals and attempted proposals of fiction cannot be anjr queerer than some of those recorded in actual 'chronicle of countryside tradition. Mr. Howells in his reminiscences gives an amusing middle West example of a country bachelor who belatedly made up his mind to marry, and in his default of female acquaintance took his place on the top rail of a roadside fence and called to the first woman who passed: “Say! You a married woman?” “And tjien at the frightened answer Indignantly gasped oat, ‘Yes, sir!’ he offered a mere *Oh!’ for an apology and explanation,,and let himself vanish' by falling into the cornfield behind him.” Almost equally contemptuous of finesse was a New England bachelor in middle life who had lived contentedly on his- farm under, the able administration of an aunt only a year or two older than himself. His nextdoor neighbor, and the owner of a small but cozy farmstead, was a competent and contented spinster. In whom Enos had displayed less than the ordinary neighborly interest. But one day he hailed her over the dividing fence: “Hi, Selina!” Selina did not immediately understand that she was being addressed, and so Enos leaned across the fence and* continued shouting “Hi! Hi! Hl I” until he attracted her attention. “Well, Enos, what is it?” she inquired, turning. Enos allowed her to walk close to the fence before he replied. “Aunt Jane’s going to get married, so I guess I better, too. What d’ye think about it, Selina?” “I think ye better, Enos.” “Then es ye’ll have me, guess I better marry you, Selina.” “Es I will, Enos, I guess ye better." “Will ye, Selina?” “I won’t Enos.” “Shucks, Selina, ye better.” “That’s your say-so, Enos; My Idee .s, I bettern’t!” Certainly, whether she would have bettered herself or otherwise, she did not marry Enos, and he remained a bachelor. Even less of grape and glamor attended the courtship of a prosaic youth jy the name of Joseph and his sweetheart —if that term is hot too poetic—the excellent and practical Susannah. Coming up her father’s farm lane, Joseph perceived her crossing it at the far end with a bucket of pig wash, and called to her to wait for him. “Can’t stop, Joe, the pigs are waiting !” she shouted back. “Jest a minute, Sue 11 got something to say to yet”, jelled Joe. “Ye can say. it after I’ve fed thepigs!” shrieked Susannah. Joe broke into a tun. As he approached her, where she had paused reluctantly to await him, he panted indignantly, “Ye got to let the darn critters wait for once, Sue! Hang it, I want to propose!” “Come along and propose, then,” responded Susannah with sweet encouragement. “Ye kin do it while we feed, the pigs, can’t ye, Joe?” Joe could and did; Susannah' accepted him; the pigs were fed. Whether or no the match was made in heaven, it proved as happy' as if itb atmosphere of - early bliss on earth had not been mingled with the aroma of the pigpen. —Years of My Youth. .