Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 237, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 October 1918 — ARKANSAS THOMAS SCATS [ARTICLE]

ARKANSAS THOMAS SCATS

The average man is so stubborn that he would rather break his neck than bow his head. ' You will never make a hit with a middle-aged woman by telling her that she is well preserved. Always remember that opportunity and dame fortune are the only knockers who ever made a hit * Isn’t, it funny how honest and upright a man feels when the other Yellow gets 'caught and he doesn’t The pastor of the. Thomas Cat is not able to say. He has seen all the pictures of her, and has never discovered anything on her yet Another reason why we send our sons to college is because when they graduate they can come home and sneer at how little we know. About this time of year the last crop of June brides are coming down to breakfast In the morning wearing gre&sy kimonos and with their hair wadded into door knobs on the backs of 'their heads. Yes, Maymsie, ye pastor once,kicked the Gordon press and the cat but that was a long time ago when he was devil in a little country “print shpp. That was before he commenced blossoming mental morning glories and writing virile copy for the Thomas Gat Boys usually kick the Gordon and the cat in their tadpole period before they become the whole wiggle.