Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 235, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 October 1918 — Page 1 Advertisements Column 3 [ADVERTISEMENT]

We all know when to stop after we have gone too far. There’s many a weak excuse given for a strong breath. Nothing makes a girl so tired as having to sit down at a dance. Wives “marriage is a lottery,” but husbands call it a ‘.‘shell game.” A good housekeeper always knows that a restaurant kitchen must be awfully dirty. Lots of men who have good eyesight can’t work unless they have their glasses. After all, it isn’t a girl’s clothes that attract a man. It is what she is wearing them on. A married man never has as much love for his wife as he has for his wife’s husband. What has become of the old-fash-oined man who always had bread crumbs in his whiskers? Another sure thing is that the new baby isn’t going to resemble the relative who has the most money. Most of the early birds are that way because they have to scratch up worms for the late risers.

When she is 17 she is the flower of the family. When she is 27 she is the wall flower of the family. A woman caii’t tell the difference between her husband’s peace of mind and a piece of her own mind. The only time some men remember to put their best foot forward is when there is a hole in the other shoe. When a princess has a homely face she gets a lot of consolation out of the fact that she has a pretty profile. There isn’t much hope for a boy who can have a new pocket knife for a whole hour without cutting himself. If a princess is afflicted with an overdose of wish bone, she likes to imagine that it is ambition that ails her. Another sure thing is that the man who is trying to sell is more polite than the man who is being asked to buy.

You never heard much about the ligh cost -of living until the chicken louse in the back yard was replaced by the garage. Babies and married women are usually crying because they want something they don’t get or get something they don’t want. You may not believe it, but the members of the peace organizations have just as many battles at home as other married people. If we could see ourselves as others see us a lot or homely pricnesses would get headaches every time they rubbered into a mirror. After you manage to tear yourself away from a man who talks for an hour and doesn’t say a word, you wonder why they don’t muzzle dogs. A‘newspaper man finds it hard to decide which is the bigger pest—the man who wants it put in the paper or the man who wants it kept out of the paper. WANTED —Farm hand, steady job all winter. Phone 955-G. Floyd Amsler. The small home can frequently be heated with one stove. * Get Coles High Range and both cook and heat.