Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 234, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 October 1918 — THE CROWN PRINCE TO THE KAISER [ARTICLE]

THE CROWN PRINCE TO THE KAISER

Tell* Papa the Awful Action* of Those Fool American* Who Refuse to Run. The dispatches say that the Crown Prince is urging that the kaiser send more help, and has written to great headquarters of conditions on the front where he started his big drive. Of course, said a man Saturday, we have not been furnished with the exact text of his letters, but he imagined they ran something like this;

On the run (Somewhere in France.) July 20 times. Dear Papa:— I am writing on the run as the brave and glorious soldiers under my command have not seen the Rhine for so long a time that they have started back that way. and of course 1 am going mit dem. Qh pap. dere has been some offel dings happened here in France. First 1 started in my big offensive which was to crush the fool Americans, but dey know so little about military tactics dat dey will not be crushed just like I want ’em. I sent my men In des fight In big waves, and when dey go to de Americans dey all said “Boo,” as loud as dey could holler. Veil, according to vot you has alalways told me, de Americans should have turned and run like blazes. But vot do you think? Dem fool Americans don’t know anything about war, and Instead of running the odder vay, dey came right toward us. Some of dem was singing something about “Ve von’t come back till its over over dere,” or some odder foolish, song, and some of dem lan like fools. Dey is so ignorant. But dey are offel reckless mit dere guns and ven de come toward us it was den dot my men took a notion dey wanted to go back to de dear old Rhine. Ve don’t like de little old dirty Marne anyhow. And, Oh, pap, dem Americans use such offel language. Dey know nothing of culture and say such offel dings right before us. And dey talk blasphemy, too. Vot do you think they said right in front of my face? One big rusky from a place dey call Texas, he said, oh, papa I hate to tell you vot offel thing he said, “To hell mid de kaiser.” Did you ever hear anything so offel? I didn’t tink anyone could say anything so offel. It made me so mad 1 wouldn’t stand and hear such and offel ting, so I turned around and run mid de odder boys. Vas I right? Vott, and oh, papa you know the breastplates vot you sent us, can’t you send some to put on our backs? You know we are going de odder way now and breastplates gre no good for de cowardly Americans are shootin’ us right in der back. Some of our boys took off der breastplates and put 'em behind but de fool Americans are playing “Der Star Spangled Banner” mid machine guns on dem plates. Can’t you help us? You remember in your speech you said nothing could stand before de brave German soldiers? Oh, papa, I don’t believe dose ignorant Americans ever read your speech, fur dey run after us just like we vos a lot of rabbits. Vot you tink of dat? Can’t you send dem some speeches right away? Dey don’t know how terrible we are. WIDLIE.