Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 218, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 September 1918 — ON THE FUNNY SIDE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

ON THE FUNNY SIDE

; . Beauty in Play. Lovely human play is like -the play of the sun. There’s a worker for you; steady to his time, 4s set as a strong man to run his course, but also he rejolceth as a strong man to run his course. See how he plays in the morning, with the mists below, arid the clouds above, with a ray here and a flash there, and a shower -of jewels everywhere—that’s the sun’s play; and great human play Is like him — all various—ail full of light and life, apd tender, us the dew of the morning.—Ruskin. Quick Results. “How was the bazaar?” “A great success in one way.” “Yes?” “The ladies got so disgusted With the poor business done that they went straight home and touched their husbands for the amount they wanted to raise.” . \ . - - >-■ Not His Last. Mrs. Penman —Do you know mother said she cried over your last book. Mr. Penman—But that isn’t going to be my last book. “Well, I won’t tell her." “Why not?” “Because probably she’d be sorry she cried.” Ki?

His Protest Flatbush—l hear you have some new neighbors next door. Bensonhurst —Yes, thatls right. “Spoken to them yet?” "Well, I just guess I have! They were banging a tin-pan of a piano night and day. You just bet I had to speak to them.” A Successful Dowser. “I have often heard that water can be located by a stick. Do you believe It?” “Sure! If the stick Is smartly applied to a boy It will make the tears flow."’ Celebrities Meet. “Who are you?” » ‘Tm the man who said the telephone was a toy. Who are you?” ‘Tm the man who said the moving picture craze would die out In six months.”

Benefits of Education. ‘ Green —Tell me, honestly, now, have you ever found any practical use for what you learned at college? Grey—l should say I have. One night when burglars got into my house I scared them off with our college yell. Magic Required. Betty—Papa says I shall marry the man I wish to. Alice (who has had experienced What will he do —hypnotize the man? Very - Properly. “How would you manage the march of righteousness?” “I’d perform it on an upright piano.” , Can Afford Economy. First Walter —When I first saw that man he couldn’t have been making more than SI,OOO a year. I’ll bet It’s SIO,OOO now. Second Waiter—Why, he used to give a 50-cent tip, but now he only gives me a dime. —The Lamb. z Should Be Grateful. Reggie—l’ve got a beastly cold in my head. Miss Keen—Never mind, Reggie. Don’t grumble. Even if it is only a cold, it’s something.

Tell by the Smell. “Have you any onion note-paper?” asked the sweet young thing in the stationery .store. ’’Well, we have some that’s scented, if that’s what you mean, miss,” was the clerk’s suggestive reply. Pie for the Judges. “Now congress wants to pass a law forbidding federal judges to declare laws passed by congress unconstitutional.” "You can see what that law has ahead of it.” r .. Unfavorably. “What were those lady jurors whispering about?” asked the judge somewhat peevishly of the court bailiff. "Nothing, sir.” 1 I ’ ~1 “gut they were. What was It?” ""“Well, your honor/ they were commenting on the hang of your gown.” Food for Thought. _ Mr. Matter—You ought to see the play I was telling you about It certainly made me think. Miss Mind —One of those miracle plan. I suppose?

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