Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 205, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 September 1918 — SMILES FOR ALL [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SMILES FOR ALL

To and For. “Everything I have in this world I owe to my wife.” "I’m almost like you, too. Everything I owe for in.this world my wife bought.” Giving Details.

“Kitty married a man a good deal older than she is, so I hear.” “Older! Why, he’s twice her real age and three times the age she says she is.”

Numbers. “I always look out for number one,” remarked the egotistical man. "Friend," replied Mr. Chuggins, “if that’s the only number you look out for In these days of traffic confusion you’re liable to get run over and never know who did it.” Very Necessary. A rotund gentleman with a perennial smile had to have his dally joke as he meandered into bls dub. „ "I have here the most valuable motorcar accessory ever invented,” ''he remarked. "What is it?" asked a tall, thin gentleman. “A bankbook,” replied the first speaker. Cause and Effect)

“That famous financier has such an angular countenance.” “No wonder; he made himself by corners.”

Easily Arranged. “How are we going to get any quotations out of these press notices?” asked the theater’s advertising “The most generous of them says, •This is not a very good show.’" “Well,” replied the manager, “for billboard purposes you’ll have to condense it a little.’* “HowF “Just leave out the word‘not’" Such Is Love. “Too bad about Jack and the girl « he’s engaged to. Neither of them ia good enough for the other.” “Where did you get that idea?* “Tve been talklhg the matter over with both families.” .