Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 204, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 September 1918 — WASHINGTON CITY SIDELIGHTS [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

WASHINGTON CITY SIDELIGHTS

Here’s Laundry Hint Gleaned From the Marines WASHINGTON.— Information always comes in handy, especially when you hook it while fishing for something else. As the American and French flags were raised at the celebration-of Bastille day every man on the Ellipse took off his hat except the marines on

guard. A patriotic young lady, who is going to heaven when she dies, provided she takes as good care of her soul as of her glassy pink finger nails, objected to the omission, but as no one paid the least attention to her, that was all there was to that —except: A woman who happened to be standing next a uniformed youngster

on camp leave inquired into the matter and learned that no marine may take off his hat when he Is wearing his belt. Being a sociable chap, glad of the chance to talk to so obviously a nice woman, he told of soldier life generally, until he came at last to the inside Information (that: “Every marine is his own chink.” This explains for you why It is that some uniforms look so much niftier than others, from a laundry point of view. Also, it may account for a wise government’s changing army blue for a color that won’t show dirt You have to know the reason of a thing to have proper respect for its value. A marine has to wash a uniform every day—and he has four, unless it may be more or less, for a listener gets the wires crossed how and then—and he uses a brush Instead of a washboard, which saves wear and tear on the garments, to say nothing of his knuckles and immortal soul. So now you know what to do when tubbing time comes to help you win the war, and also—which is really more Important—the lady of the glassy pink nails will find from this important document just why the marines kept on their hats. Woman Is Going to Insist on Tucks and Frills MI? ASHION hasn’t worn cotton since the war. Everything is silk.” The I* clerk said it •to a mere everyday customer who had dared to mention petticoats. With the information went a couple of shrugs that told each

other that of course some women would continue to stick to cotton, with another shrug tu finish the infer mce with the proper shading of scorn. Official information is a handy thing to own, but it has its drawbacks. It put worry lines between the eyes of the customer as she left the shop, wondering what is going to happen with sklrtles on the blink. But she might have saved herself the wear and tear of her emotions, for the first person she saw when she got outside

was a Broom-handle sister who Insisted upon wearing her tucks and frills to the Very beach of the River of Styx. And after that, at comforting intervals, came: K A tremendously stout woman who didn’t give a hang for straight fronts, but wore her contour as unconcernedly as if she were the first edition de Milo, diked off in spotty black lawn. A middle-aged woman with the sort of Roman chin that will insist upon what it wants until kingdom come, and one of the things the woman apparently wanted just then to the extent of possessing in all its glory was a white skirt showing lace inserts under blue flowered mull. There were others, but these will serve, so the customer’s worry lines went out of business, aad as woman must express herself or die she paused before a plaster lady in a store window—a passe plaster lady, chipped a trifle and clothed in a shopworn suit marked down. “Wax ladies may do as they blamed please, but you and I and the rest of us runs of the mill are going to stick to our coaties, eyen after the war, when knickers come in fashion.” ' - And anybody who supposes that plaster lady failed to smile response is simply not acquainted with plaster ladles. Proof That Kind Act Is Not Always Appreciated AN AUTOMOBILE stood in front of a theater. It was an Imposing car of brown leather, burnished brass and allied flags, and as its owner came out of the theater —movie —and was getting aboard, two girl children asked with

the wheedling confidence —some call it imprudence—that goes with Innocence and shedding teeth: “Say, mister, give us a ride. Jinny; ain’t* never been in a nautymobile.” The man paid no attention and whizzed away. They were only tads of the street, but it would have been worth while, perhaps, to give two stepchildren of fortune a memory that might have lasted them a lifetime.

And perhaps, again, have got the host arrested for kidnaping—you never can tell. It seems the right thing always to do a kindly action offhand, but consider the case of one friendly man who lives up Capitol hill way: Being a stranger here for responsible war work, he naturally gets a bit lonely for oldtime friends and associations, but being also a wholesome and buoyantly healthful person, soul and body, takes all the pleasures that come his way and always does his best to pass them on. The other afternoon his -ear was at the curb, and, as it was inconvenient just then for the friend in the house to go riding, he humored the children next door who had been begging him for pennies, cones and the like, by taking two of. them for a ride. When he returned after a short spin it was supposed that was all there was to it, but, dear me, no! The mother objected to a strange man’s taking her children in his car. So, you see, you never can tell. ■ V" Possibly Wartime Conditions Brought This About HE WAS the happiest man in Washington. That’s a pretty broad statement, but he said it himself, and he ought to know. “You see, it is this way,” he was heard to say: “For many months I had been eating around, here and

there and everywhere. And something always bothered me. Maybe you have experienced it. In winter and summer it is always the same, only the medium is changed. “Talk United States? Sure! What I’m complaining about is that in wartime Washington—in winter, say—>you can’t ever get your second cup of coffee as hot as the first, or with as niucK cream in IL And in summer the second glass of ice tea is warm. Ask me not why this is true. There

Is no valid reason why the second cup of coffee should not be as hot as the first, or why the second cup should be ‘dark’ instead of ‘light.’ Nor have I ever been able to find a real excuse for your second glass of ice tea coining to you lukewarm, with an invisible piece of ice in it. "I threatened, besought knd bewailed, and all were df no avail. I must go through life, I thought, accepting a lukewarm second cup of coffee and a tepid second glass of ice tea. “But now all that is changed. My second cup of coffee is steaming and my second glass of ice tea looks like an iceberg afloat on an amber sea Oh, boy!” .