Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 201, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 September 1918 — Just a Little Smile [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Just a Little Smile

Not Easily Recalled. On 6 afternoon an esteemed citizen went out to the country club for a turn around the golf links, and after making several rather weird plays he turned to the Imperturbable eaddy. “I suppose,” said he, “that in caddying around here you have seen worse golf players than I am.” The boy did not answer. With a fixed gaze he seemed to be looking into the distance. “I said,” remarked the golfer In a nuch louder tone, “that I suppose you kave seen worse players than L” “I heard what ye said the first time, nister,” was the startling rejoinder of the caddy, “but ye’ve got to give a teller time to think.” POSTED.

“Seeing the watah weminds me that I can tell you how much falls ovah Niagara Falls, to a gallon.” “How much?” “Four quarts, bah Jove.” Playing Safe. There was a man who feared the show That trivial error makes. He never did'a thing, and bo Avoided all mistakes. What Tommy Would Say. One day when small Tommy was called to the desk with his slate he accidentally stepped on his teacher’s foot. She looked up, expecting a “Please partion me,” but Master Tommy was silent. . “Why, Tommy, what should you say,” she asked. Tommy hung bls little head. “What should you say, dear?” Tommy began to cry. “What should you say, Tommy?” persisted his teacher. “I s—should s—say ouch!” sobbed Tommy. Penalty of Lying. “Sedentary work,” said the college lecturer, “tends to lessen the endurance.” “In other words,” butted In the smart student, “the more one sits the less one can stand.” “Exactly,” retorted the lecturer; “and if one lies a great deal one’s standing is lost completely.”—London Tit-Bits. ONE THING THEY MUST .LEARN.

“Why do you think Slobber’s wife was a chorus girl on«e?” “ ’Cause she always wears a happy smile.”' Brain Fag. The ‘loafer’’ now is out of date, Det’s do the best we can From day to day to stimulate The tired business man. - f Some One Else Got Her. Cholly—l thought I’d try an Innovation. ’ " Molly—And did you? . . “Surely. I decided to propose marriage to a certain party by telephone.” “How did It, work out?" “I was told the line was busy.” Concentrated Attention. "Does motoripg help you to forest your troubles?" . i “Yes,” answered Mr. Chuggina. "When a tire blows out I can’t think •f anything else.”