Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 192, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 August 1918 — WIT and HUMOR [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

WIT and HUMOR

That Toul Weather. There are places In the world where the weather has been better the last few weeks than In the American sector northwest of Toul, but the prevailing dampness never even tarnishes the American sense of humor. The colonel'of a regiment, making - a night tour of the trenches, was challenged by a sentry who had been standing at his post for two hours In a driving rain. “Who’s there?” said the sentry. “Friend!” replied his colonel. “Welcome to our mist,” said the sentry. And the most serious thing the colonel did was to laugh.—From Stars and Stripes, France. MEAN ADVANTAGE OF HIM.

Lord Algy—Why did you accede to your valet’s demands? Lord Arthur —He threatened to strike and quit just when I was- half dressed, you know. Undoubtedly True. • A new horror of war is indicated in the following bit from an English publication : First Tommy (in front line trench) — Hark. Bill! I can hear Fritz advancing. Hear it —squlsh-squash ail the time. ■ a ■ - Second Tommy (after listening for a second) —You’re wrong, Jim. That’s only the Americans chewing their gum. '* A Patriot. Little Dorothy’s uncles are both at the war, and she has a great admiration for soldiers. The other day in a crowded street car she was sitting on her mother’s lap when a .wounded soldier entered. Dorothy immediately slipped to the floor. “Here, soldy,” she offered, “you can sit on mamma’s lap.”—-Harper’s Magazine. Patriotic. “He’s certainly patriotic.”' “That so? In what way?” “He’s spending as- little money as possible on himself.” “Economizing, eh?" “Yes. He’s even brought himself to the point where he’ll wear the neckties his wife’s relatives gave him instead of buying new ones.” WITH THE HOBOEB.

“Pete, dem’s a farmer up de road dat says hell give you $2 for a day’s work!” "What’s de use of temptin’ me when you know I ain’t got de time. You orter understand dat out o’ practice like I am, It ’nd take me at least six weeks to do a day’s work.” ■I I ■ The Reason. Lady—Why did you leave your last place? Maid—Because the lady’s husband kissed me. Lady—And didn’t you’like it? Maid—Oh,. I didn’t mind, but the mistress didn’t like it r . . Not So Mean. "Did the bride’s father give her away?" “No; on the contrary, he told the bridegroom she would make a very economical wife.”