Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 187, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 August 1918 — SUMMER SMILES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SUMMER SMILES

Just Suspicions. A senator said the other day: “Attacks on Hog island are ill conceived. Hog island assailants have looked too suspiciously at perfectly innocent transactions. “It’s like the young married man who stepped into a coal dealer’s and said: “ ‘Send me round a ton of coal, please.’ “ ‘Yes, sir. What size?’ the dealer asked. - The young man looked at the dealer severely. “ ‘Exactly the 2,240-pound size,’ he said, in a»stern voice.”

A Long Shot.

“W hat book does the lady want?” “She says It is something with a queer name, something odd.” “Try her on the Odyssey.”

Desire for Knowledge. “There is one thing I want to know, pop.” “What is it, son?” “Can swordfishes fence?” Paw, Take Shame to Yourself! May (reading the newspaper)—l see here where two fellers was arrested while they were robbin’ the same place the second time. Paw (with an exasperating grin) — By gum, that’s what I’d call a repeatin’ rifle.

Appropriate Action.

“A friend of Jaggsby sent him a case of champagne and it fell into his wife’s hands.” “Did she score him about it?" “No, she just kept Mumm.”

Flattery. “That photograph flatters your husband.” “Yes. He says he’s a going to have something in this .house that will say a kind word for him.”