Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 185, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 August 1918 — IN ANOTHER KEY [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

IN ANOTHER KEY

“And so, Mr. Pills,” the elderly woman remarked to the country druggist, "poor old Joe Is dead." “Yes,” replied Mr. Pills, "Joe died very early this morning- He was in the store here only last night." “Yes, I seen him,” went on the customer, “and I said to myself, ‘Poor old Joe, he’s a goner now he’s going aver thera for medicine.’” The chemist was anything but pleased, and the woman seeing she was misunderstood, endeavored to set matters right. “I don't mean to say, Mr. Pills,” she explained hurriedly, “as how your medicine killed him, nowt o* the sort. Old Joe never did like physic, and Pm sartin he’d never have took the risk o’ cornin’ here if he’d' had a chance o’ livingl” Why He Quit. “And have you always been a tramp?” asked the strong-faced woman at the back door. “No, no, ma’am,” was the seedy one’s reply. “I used to be a drug clerk up in Maine.” “And why did you give up that occupation, pray?” “Well, you see ma’am, since women’s rights have been established, I couldn’t stand the ladles coming up to the soda fountain v>d winking at me.” -—Yonkers Statesman. Woman's Way. Patience —She’s not satisfied with her new photographs at all. I ntrice —I don’t know why not. They mhke her look younger than she really 13. “I know that, but she expected to have ’em look even younger than she says she is.” WORN OUT. /

Dinks —What was the matter with the wedding party? The bride tottered, the best man looked groggy, and one ofthe ushers collapsed at the door. What was the cause of it? Winks —Too many rehearsals. — / Overconfidence. That optimist, howe’er polite, Should go on his way unheeded. Who says that everythin’s all right And hard work isn’t needed. Too Early. “Can you quote *The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner?"’ । “No,” replied Mr. Dubwaite. “It has been a long time since I read that poem, but I distinctly remember that, while the mariner told a corking good story of adventures at sea, he made no reference to U-boats.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. Nursing a Luxury. “Have you'any idea of the amount of money you waste every year on tobacco?” inquired the severe-looklng man. “No,” replied the serene man. “You know if I kept figuring on what it cost I might not enjoy smoking sufficiently to make it worth while.” A Serious One. "Yesterday was the turning point in Jiggsby’s career.” “How so?” “’His auto turned turtle." A Danger. Sometimes we vainly seek to boast Of service in the fray. An’ when we're bent on helpin’ most We’re gettln’ in the way! - Art. “Have you ever seen an Italian sunset?” asked the artist. "No, I never have,” replied the lady in the studio. “Well, that painting of mine over there is an Italian sunset." “Oh, really! * And" does it look anything like that?” The Reason. “So the bride eloped with the groomsman. Why do you suppose sho did that?” ' “Because he was the best man-"

BADLY MIXED.