Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 181, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 August 1918 — CAP and BELLS [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

CAP and BELLS

THE COMFORTABLE LIE. “Don’t. you worry whefi your husband is out late at night?” “No.‘ He can take care of himself.” “But do you take his explanations without cavil?” “Yes. I’ve got to the point where I’d rather have,him tell me a pleasant He and let me go back comfortably to sleep than to get the truth and have to stay awake the remainder of the night worrying about Aim,”

So Very Particular. Mrs. Myles—l suppose they are particular at the boarding school where your daughter attends? Mrs. Styles—Oh, yes, very. “No young men ever allowed to caU there?" “Never. Why, even the days the ashman calls they blindfold 'all they girls!” Not a Fair Audience. Miss Sue Brette—And did you have a fair audience at your play last night? Footelighte—Nothing fair about it. hissed. The Hot and Cold of It -Nell—Win is always telling me of his burning love. Belle—That’s nothing. Jack is .always treating me to ice cream. * No Reason. Father —And what is your reason for aspiring to my daughter? Suitor —I —l’ have no reason I’m In love! AS HE WAS TOLD.

“Now, Freddy, I have asked you twice, and if you don’t answer I’ll spank you. Did you say thank you to the pan that gave you that candy? “Well —er —pop —1 did. But he told me not to mention it.”

In the Country. “Are you on good terms with your city relations, Mr. Rural?” “Yes, but they don’t seem to be on good relations with my terms.” Had Him Well Trained. “That’s a hard-working man you’ve got working in your garden,” said the rfear-sighted neighbor. “Why, that’s my husband.” “Really? Why, I thought it pras a hired man.” “You don’t suppose I could make any man work as hard as that but my husband, do you?” Symptoms. Mrs. Bacon —Do you think by any chance the baby Will grow up to be left-handed, dear? Mr. Bacon —I hope not. Why do yon ask that question?” “Because he’s always trying to put the toes of his left foot in his mouth.” Catty Comment. “Miss Bertha says she has such an elastic nature." "I suppose that is why she does so much rubbering.” Appearances. Appearances, we read in books. To great deception often lead. Potatoes are not much for looks. But they are friends In time of need. A Sense of Satisfaction. “Your wife says you made a great hit at her party.” “Yes,” answered Mr. Cumrox. “I couldn’t have done better. ,My manners were so dignified and perfect several people thought I was the new butler we’re bragging about.” > One Reason. “Why are you opposed to your wife’s voting?” “Because judging from her hpusecleaning orgies, she will go to for to# many sweeping reforms.” »