Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 159, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 July 1918 — ON THE FUNNY SIDE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

ON THE FUNNY SIDE

COURTING TROUBLE. It was a red-letter day for Pat Finnegan. For the first time he was a member of a jury. Dressed in his best suit he was about to depart for the courthouse when his wife asked him where he was going. "Shure, an* it’s to eoort Oi'm going,” replied Pat The next day the same thing happened. However, on the third morning things came to a climax. Mrs. Finnegan again asked the question. “Shure, it’s to eoort Oi’m going,” said Pat. Mrs. Finnegan took the rolling pin and got in Pat’s way. “Now, Pat,” she replied, “take off them good clothes; yer not going to eoort. If there’s any coortin’ to be done, ye’ll do it here, an’ do it with me!”

Had Her Way. Patience—So Peggy’s engaged to Paul at last? Patrice —Sure. She’s landed him. “You know she always would.have her own way.” “But will she now?” “Of course, shb will. He asked het to name the day, and she wouldn’t do it. She insisted that the ceremony should be performed at night.” A HINT.

Father —Agnes, is that young man still there? Daughter—Yes, papa. Father —Then ask him to bring in the morning paper before he goes, will you, dear? Exactly. By subterfuge he got away From cops on the qul vive, And so became, as one might say, A subterfugitlve. Too Busy Knitting. “I proposed to Miss Peacher last night.” “Did she accept you?” “She said, ‘Yes,’ in an absent-minded way, but I’m afraid that ion’t final.” “Why'not?” “She was knitting at the time. I don’t' believe she understood what I asked her.” Nowadays. Beggar —Could you spare a hungry man a nickel? Cholly—Yes, If you’ll tell me where a man can buy anything to eat with a nickel. Rustic Plutocracy. "Thousands of dollars pass through a bank teller’s hands daily.” “That’s nothing. Think of what passes through a farmer’s hands who milks twenty cows.” In These Days. "It’s as useless as the fifth wheel to a wagon." “That adage Is out of date. All automobiles carry extra tires.” Not Always. “Talk is cheap.” "Not when you tell a policeman your opinion of him, and have to pay $lO and costs.”

Natural Inquiry. Father of Family —The new ship, I understand, beat her record. Small Boy—l say, Pop, did she do If with her spanker? A Sleepy Humorist. Mrs. Tlmmld—John, wake up! There’s a man downstairs; I’m sure I heard a noise that sounded like . a yawn. Husband—Oh. go to steep. What you heard was probably the rubber plant stretching itself.” Just Reward. f Weary Willie —Data the worst pie I ever tasted. Mrs. Jones—Walt Just a minute and m give you a dollar. That pie was baked i»y my husband’s mother.