Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 155, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 July 1918 — NEWS and GOSSIOP of WASHINGTON [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

NEWS and GOSSIOP of WASHINGTON

Now Comes the to Dazzle Washington WASHINGTON.— This wonderful old city is just brimful of dashing, flashing, fetching uniforms. Of course, the people who'fill the uniforms catch most of the feminine* eyes, but there is one uniform that rather causes the - / male glance to wander. Maybe it isn’t

the uniform, but there Is something I mighty attractive about the “yeoette* even to a woman. With ducky little blue coats, double breasted and brass buttoned, and white duck skirts, and a chic little white sailor hat, the yeoette certainly makes a pretty picture as she mingles with the thousand and one other uniforms on the streets of Washington. But the yeoette has something.

more important to do to win the war than to look handsome. She is a mighty important cog in the machinery of Secretary Daniels’ organization which is fighting the undersea boats of the kaiser. If the navy wins the war, and there are those in Washington who believe it will, all of the glory can’t go to the brave men who were on board ship. Without the organization behind them they wouldn’t have been able to accomplish much, and without the yeoette the strength of the navy wouldn’t be as great today as it is. Of course/it seems that the little yeoette is mighty unimportant, but she has filled a good many gaps in the navy department and she has released hundreds of men for service on. sea. She is really nothing more than a firstclass stenographer and office secretary* but in these days any sort of a stenographer is a prize and the first-class stenographers and typists who become yeoettes are jeweled prizes. Now, What Will Selfish Bachelors Be Doing Next? AMAN was buying darning cotton. The woman next had just transacted a little deal in pins. Counting by seasons, he was early summer and she was autumn nipped by frost. The classification is necessary to explain the

impersonal chumminess of the two. “Hello, Frank, boy. Looks as if you have been getting married.” “Never trust to looks, Miss Ann. We ran out of thread and Joe tied a string around my finger—see? He’s the family mender.” It sounded somewhat cryptic, so autumn asked for enlightenment,and • this is what she got: “Two years ago four of us department fellows set up housekeeping, and have just renewed the lease. It’s

ft bully way to live, Miss Ann. Each of us has two rooms which we furnish to suit ourselves, and there is a man to cook and a Saturday cleaner to make the wheels go round. Bob attends to rent and wages, Joe markets and mends, Billy keeps tab on fuel and light bills, and I’m the official shopper. Say, Miss Ann, this housekeeping stunt is great. I don’t blame you business women for not getting married unless you feel like it —because I’m that way myself. I used to think I’d have to get me a wife Just to have a home—every man wants a home, but—now that I’ve weathered the infatuations of calfhood you don’t catch me ever giving up my home with the boys, except for solid love. What do you say to that, lady?” And lady said —but never mind what she said. He didn’t. Believes He Struck a Parcel Post Bargain Day MALCOLM KERLIN, assistant city postmaster, Ought to know about this, anyway, so here goes: Kirk Miller, that angular fellow, wants to know when bargain days in parcel post went into effect. Kirk says he had a pack-

age to send to a friend in Ney Mexico the other day, so he took it around to a branch post office early in the morning. “How much will this take?" he asked the man behind the window. The man weighed the parcel, looked through his book for the zone rate, and then answered: “Ninety cents.” Having but 30 cents in his pocket, Kirk decided to postpone the mailing of the parcel until later in the day,

when the treasury could be replenished. At lunch time Kirk tried it again. There was another clerk at the window this time. “How much will tjUs package take?” “Forty-eight cents, < “Gee•!” said Kirk to hiinself, making some mental calculations. ‘Til hold on to this utftil later in the day?’ That evening on his way norne from work he stopped in again. “How much?” he asked. The clerk —another one still —weighed the parcel and said: “Forty-one cents.” “Guess that’s cheap enough;” replied Miller./ “You can have it.” Just Why Jimmy and Leo Didn’t Get That Raise THIS is the story of a case of mistaken identity. Jimmy and Leo were out in one of their employer’s automobiles early the other morning—so early, in fact, that the streets were pretty clear of people. “Gee,” said Jimmie,

“look at the pretty little dog. Why, it looks like—” “It belongs to the boss,” finished Leo. “Let’s catch it and take it back to the office, and maybe we’U get a raise.” ’ Jimmy and Leg, descended from the car and, with pK tread, made for the dog. But that creature‘was wily and eluded their grasp in a graceful but effective manner. Into' the automobile hopped the two boys, and after

a few preliminary bangs the car sped after the dog. -Catching a dog in an automobile is not as easy as it sounds. The dog took it easy and kept to the sidewalk, making the downtown blocks without any trouble. Then he ran into a yard, up the front steps, and into the vestibule of a fine-looking house. '.“Now we’ve got himl” whooped Jimmie. Cornered in the vestibule, the dog bad little chance, indeed, to escape the triumphant youths. They grabbed him up and made off with him. Indignant barks and ki-yis awoke the neighborhood. A window went up In the front of the house. “Let go my dog! Let go my dog! Oh, make them bring back my dog!** screamed a voice from the window. “The woman’s crazy." said Jimmie. “It ain’t her dog; it’s the boss’.’’ “Let ’er go!” yelled Leo, and the car shot away, with the dog yelping In vain. “The boss will be there by the time we get back," said Leo. The boss was there, all right, and he was waiting for them. "Yessir, here’s your dog,” said Jimmie and Leo. “It Isn’t my dog,” said the boss. “It belongs to Mrs. , on Sixteenth street She just telephoned In here and said that two young thugs had stolen the deg out of her front yard and had carried it off in one of our wagons."