Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 155, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 July 1918 — ON THE FUNNY SIDE [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

ON THE FUNNY SIDE

JACK OF ALL TRADES.

“I like men who do things.’’ “Well, I have done as many different things as anybody you know.” Ever Notice It? Phe man that wails that times are hard You will observe full oft, Is looking for a berth in life Particularly soft. ' —Boston Transcript. Truth About Premonition. “Once in a while an error turns out to be the truth,” said the editor. “How is that?” asked the caller. “Why,” replied the editor, “in writing about the death of Mrs. Rounder I referred to Mr. Rounder as ‘the bereaved widower,’ but the compositor made it ‘the relieved widower,’ ind it got into the paper that way, and Rounder never even called up to demand a correction.” —London Ht-Blts. At a Disadvantage. “My friend,” said the philosopher, 4 my motto is, ‘Stay on the sunny side if the street.’ ” “I’ve tried that," replied the pessimist, “but it won’t work.” “Why not?" “The minute I brighten up people who know me as a man under a cloud :hink that’s an opportune time to strike me for a loan." His Mistake. Jack —Is it poverty that stands between us? Marion —Yes. Jack —I admit that I’m poor, but I have an aged uncle who is very rich ind a bachelor. He is an invalid and ;annot live much' longer. Marion—How kind and thoughtful )f you. Will you introduce me to him? At Grips. Singleton —You and your good wife have led a happy life, treading the path pf wedded bliss hand in hand. Benedict —Not hand in hand —hand to hand. Greased. “The trouble with you is that you flon’t seize your opportunities.” “Oh, I grab at ’em fast enough, but jarn ’em, they’re greased.” right in it.

"Virginia is consistent in everytning, isn’t she?” “What now?” ■— —r _ “Why, her new mermaid gown ii to,be made of watered silk.” Less Trouble. “My wife hates to answer the doorbell Sunday afternoon when she’s com sortable in a kimono.” “Mine, too. But she says she’d rather take the trouble to dress that to wear herself out guessing arounc the circle of her friends trying to fig are out who rang.” In These Days. “It’s as useless as the fifth wheel ts a wagon." , “That adage is out of date. All automobiles carry an extra tire."