Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 118, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 May 1918 — Page 3

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Where His Doubt Lay.

Mr. George Robey dearly. loves a joke. Recently a certain well-known brother Comedian whom ,he met casually in the street remarked, to him that he had a great mind to w r rlte a book. “I doubt It,” replied George. ‘‘Doubt what?” said his friend In an injured voice; “that I can write a book?” “Oh, no,” was the reply; “that you have a great mind.” Knowing G. R.’s reputation for being a bit of a wag his friend readily forgave him.

Stat® of Ohio, City of Toledo, Lucaa County—ss. . . , Frank J. Cheney makes oath that he la senior partner of the firm of F. J. Cheney & Cd., doing business in the City of Toledo, County and State aforesaid, and that said firm will pay the sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for any case of Catarrh that cannot be vuredi by the use of HALL’S CATARRH MEDICINE. , FRANK J. CHENEY. Sworn to before me and subscribed In my presence, this 6th day of December, A D 1886. 'Seal) A. W. Gleason, Notary Public. HALL'S CATARRH MEDICINE itl taken internally und acts through the Blood on the Mucous Surfaces of the System. Druggists, 75c. Testimonials free. F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio.

One-Sided View.

■“What sort of a man is Green?” “Fine. Ths best ever.” “Is he trustworthy?” “Very." “Would you lend money to him?” “As to that I can’t say. I’ve never lent him auy. Iv’e only borrowed from him.” ;

Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant Pellets are the original little liver pills put up 40 years ago. They regulate liver and bowels. Ad.

The Sole Recourse.

“I wish they could find a remedy for this deadlock.” “The only one to suit ts the key to the situation.”

A diplomat is a man who Is able to ■use the truth economically and judiciously. Good breeding keeps a woman from eating as much dinner as she wants.

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HAPPENINGS in the BIG CITIES

Illustrating the Difference Between Two Women CHICAGO; —She waited while the butcher trimmed her lamb chops. And while he was doing it she confided to a woman who had ordered stew beef, that she was giving a tea to meet Mrs. Blank, and that her Cousin Maudle, who was engaged to a lieutenant and

they would break up and board, so she could have a decent meal without his everlasting din about helping to win the war. It was nothing in this world but an excuse for his meanness, and if she had known he was that sort of a man—and so on and so on. And when she had gone off the stew-beef woman felt called on to relieve her mind to an entirely strange customer next: “Did you hear the way that woman was going on? She’s got as good a husband as ever walked and a nice little home with a sleeping porch and glass storm doors and an electric range—all paid for and in her name. Before she was married she clerked ’way up Seventh street, and had a hallroom across from mine. I was keeping company at the same time, and my Joe said from the first that poor Lou was facing trouble with his eyes shut and that she would never be contented, no matter what he done for her, and it’s gospel true ” All of which set the entirely strange customer thinking thoughts as she went away with her purchase—hamburg, fresh ground, if you would care to know. And as a sensible thought is always worth passing on, here it is as the customer got it from a most wonderful, ancient lady who sat in that dusk we all know about, waiting for the dawn. It was such a way-back dusk that the customer had never even heard tell of hamburg, fresh ground—which, naturally, couldn’t be expected to equal those artistically trimmed lamb chops—and this ancient lady remarked with a forgiving smile, “Ah, well, my dear, you know one is not rich in the things one has; real wealth consilts of the ability to be satisfied with little and be contented and the consciousness of having tried to do one’s duty.” Here’s Prize Scheme to Raise Money for War SAN FRANCISCO. —“I. admit,” the reporter oratorlcally said, as he interviewed himself for publication, “I admit that in volunteering to embargo from his menu wheat products that he can’t get anyway, the restaurant man

is performing a patriotic service. The thing I am objecting to is his lukewarmity in buying Liberty bonds with the money he makes on potatoes.” In proof of which the reporter dictated to his typewriter the following: “I went into a restaurant and copied this from the menu: Potatoes, French fried, 15 cents; American fried, 15 cents; Saratoga chips, 15 cents; julienne, 15 cents; hash brown, 15 cents; lyonnaise, 20 cents; cottage

fried, 20 cents; au gratin, 25 cents; O’Brien, 25 cents; O’Brien au gratin, 30 cents. I ordered American fried, removed them carefully on tissue paper, brought them to the office and weighed them. The order weighed 1 1-3 ounces. At 640 ounces to a bushel of potatoes the price to the diner was S9O a bushel, or $2.50 a pound. I can buy potatoes In a cash store at a cent and a half a pound. “Somebody said the country has a 90,000,000-bushel potato crop going to rot because people won’t eat them. Now, if the restaurants would pool in and buy this crop and deal It out at 15 cents an ounce, the proceeds would be $8,660,000,000. The excess profits and income taxes from the restaurants would be enough to run the war three months and the potato crop would be absorbed. “In justice to this restaurant I must hasten to add that they did not emulate some patriotic hotels and charge me ten cents for two ounces of bread and a pat of butter.”

Might Call This One Story of Real Hard Luck KANSAS CITY.—The empty, purple-colored motorcar rested against the curbing at Eleventh and Walnut streets. large tire was strapped in the rear tire racks. Three young women, attractive and well dressed,

he have a place in the picture, beside the pretty girl in the rear tire rack. As the camera snapped there was a shrill cry from a sharp-featured woman, expensively dressed, who stood on the curbing. “So,” the woman exclaimed, pointing a finger at the good-natured man, still seated beside the girl, “this Is why I couldn’t get you at the office. Joy riding, eh? Wait till you get home! The very idea!” “But —” The woman, declining explanations, disappeared in the crowd. And the man, red-faced, pressed the electric starter, refusing to answer “good-bys” of the three girls, who fled into the department store, where they are employed. Some Way, Babies Don’t See Daylight-Saving Idea NEW YORK. —“I beg your pardon, but do you know of any method by which I can persuade my child to take nourishment, retire and arise by the clock, instead of by his Dear Little Instinct?” “Hey! Does anyone there

know how you can set a six-months , kid so he’ll hit the hay an hour earlier these nights?" These are sample inquiries that have come to the World since the clocks of the country were poked ahead an hour. “My baby used to sleep from six till six. Now she refuses to go to bed until seven o’clock, and won’t get up until seven the next morning. The World helped move the clocks ahead.

Now I think it’s up to the World to - . , think of some way of moving the babies ahead.” That’s afair samp e the mothers say. A falr-ininded method would! seem to be to just chuck th kid into Its bunk by what the clock says, and not what he feels, and hau. him out again by the clock —make him run on daylight-saving time. But mothers to whom you say that just sigh and look at you as if jot were the prize boob of the neighborhood. And fathers make* l>oul your not having io stick around and listen to the baby yell for his rights. Maybe congress can fix it up. , ' '

THE EVENING REPUBLICAN, RENSSELAER. IND.

was going to be a war bride, would pour. The stew-beef woman told her she was flying high, considering we had been asked to censor lamb until peace came. The chop lady shrugged hey shoulders near French and said she should worry, with all the extra-work money her husband was bringing in. As for her part, she was sick of all the silly little economies Lou was forever nagging over, and if she had her way

emerged from a nearby department store. One carried a camera. One of the girls seated herself Inside the tire, while another seated herself behind the steering wheel. The girl with the camera made ready to take a picture. A middle-aged man, a huge diamond on his finger, approached and started to enter the car when he observed the three girls. They told him of their desire to take a picture. Did he object? He didn’t. But he Insisted

THINKING MORE ABOUT DEATH

War's Effect on the Minds of Englishmen Is Declared to Have Been Extra6rdinary. In England the effect of religions thought ,of three years and a half of war has been extraordinary. The revival of religious fervor, in many instances the direct result of personal loss by death or fear of impending loss, has reflected itself in English literature. , The most of all recent conversions is that of H. G. Wells, hard-headed and yet tender-hearted Socialist, who now writes of religion as if it were a discovery of his own. Another writer who has been led by the wai* in faith in a life beyond the grave is Sir Oliver Lodge, whose book, “Raymond,” dealing with the communications said to have been received from his son, is one of the phenomena of present-day literature. The war Is .making the world think intently about death and what comes after and, in consequence, is urging them to establish a closer relation during life with the eternal. —Exchange.

Tree That Wouldn’t Die.

One of the giant redwoods in Mendocino county, California, has shown that in spite of its combined foes, the wind and the forest fire, it has made up its mind to keep right on living in the same spot where it has stood for dozens of years. During a terrible storm on the mountain the top of this big tree was broken off, and later the trunk was nearly destroyed by a forest fire ; yet enough vitality remained for a young tree to rise from the roots pf the older one and to grow up within the wide trunk which serves as a protection against the wind. The original tree was a magnificent specimen more than 11 feet in diameter, towering high in the air, and its youthful successor should be of goodly size when the old stump is ready to fall away.—St. Nicholas.

FRECKLES Now Is the Time to Got Rid of These Ugly Spots There’s no longer the slightest need of feeling ashamed of your freckles, as Othine—double strength—is guaranteed to remove these homely spots. Simply get an ounce of Othine —double strength—from your druggist, and apply a little of It night and morning and you should soon see that even the worst freckles have begun to disappear, while the lighter ones have vanished entirely. It Is seldom that more than one ounce is needed to completely clear the skin and gain a beautiful clear completion. Be sure to ask for the double strength Othine. as this is sold under guarantee of money back If It falls to remove freckles.—Adv.

She Was Used to It.

Mrs. Patrician remarked to the new servant: “I suppose, Mary Ann, you overheard my husband and me conversing rather earnestly this morning?” “Indeed, I did that, mum,” replied Mary Ann. “I hope that , you did not consider that anything unusual was going on.” “Niver a bit, mum. I wanst had a husband meself, mum, and niver a day passed that the neighbors didn’t be-< lieve that one or the other uv us would be kilt entolrely.”

Encouraging.

“There’s a man outside who says he’s your tailor and wants to see you about a bill.” “Tell him I’ve gone to attend the funeral of a rich relative from whom I expect to inherit a great deal of money.” “Have you lost a relaitve, sir?” “No; but that fellow has been here so many times I feel I ought to say something that will make him feel better.” —Birmingham Age-Hherald.

Important to Mothers

Examine carefully every bottle of CASTOBIA, that famous old remedy for infants and children, and see that it Bears the Signature In Use for Over 30 Years. Children Cry for Fletcher’s Castoria

Frank.

Newlywed—l met Bob Spilkins today and he said he envied me. Wife—Bob Spilkins! I told you to cut Bob Spilkins, Newlywed—l shall hereafter. He’s such a brainless donkey.

An Audacious Guest.

“The Hons never touched Daniel when he was thrown into their den.” “Maybe,’L ventured the painfully precocious child, “it was meatless day.”

Too people have this rule of conduct? “Work not lest ye be worked.” . Paradoxical as it may seem, the cradle of the deep is on top of the ocean bed.

Are You Bloated After Eating With that gassy, puffy feeling, and hurting near your heart? For Quick Relief-Take ONE F ATONIC fT fcpCfORYOUR STOMACH’S SAKE) You can fairly feel it work. It drives the GAS out of body and the Bloat goes with it Get EATOMC from your Druggist

Ar HVR “After I Spring Is In the air—the I every I fields and woods and neaT I waters cad— I g| And to add to the zest I JSMmH of outdoor pleasures nothing affords the long- I MQ lasting refreshment of jfIHM WRIGLEY’S- I So carry it always I with you. I wl The Flavor I r\ Lasts . Jk I

As Age Advances the Liver Requires occasional alight stimulation. CARTER’S SS LITTLE LIVER PILLS Workjß IWITTLE correct jUF ItYfiS CONSTIPATION V\ - ■■■■* Genuine JtogqNh— ————$ bears w signature Colorless or Pale Face. a condition which win be greatly helped by VaTter SironriUn

And Food for Wheatless Days.

If an actor could dine on his own roles what a cinch he would have. — Florida Times-Union.

After acquiring a European reputation an actor seeks an American salary. ' In a card game a good deal depends on a good player and good playing depends on a good deal.

HAARLEM OIL CAPSULES IF YOUR BACK ACHES

Do you feel tired and “worn-out?” A>e you nervous and irritable? Don’t sleep well at night? Have a “dragged out,” unrested feeling when you get up in the morning? Dizzy spells? Bilious? Bad taste in the mouth, backache, pain or soreness in the loins, and abdomen? Severe distress when urinating, bloody, cloudy urine or sediment? All these Indicate gravel or stone in the bladder, or that the poisonous microbes, which are always in your system, have attacked your kidneys. You should use GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil Capsules Immediately. The oil soaks gently into the walls and lining of the kidneys, and the tittle poisonous animal germs, which are causing the inflammation, are immediately attacked and chased out of your system without inconvenience or pain.

can or write *■■■ A | INSTITUTE 813 E. 49th St. Ml L M I Chicago. They Confidentially |W W M I TeU How Yott Can EASILY I wluuH|fcs BREAK the DRINK HABIT CMhforOHFaiMTerih W. N. U., CHICAGO, NO. 20-1918.

Don’t Ignore the “little pains and aches,” especially backaches. They may be little now but there is no telling how soon a dangerous or fatal disease of which they are the forerunners may show itself. Go after the cause of that backache at oaea or you may find yourself in the gr<p «t an incurable Do not delay a minute. <Go to your druggist end insist on his supplying you with a boxT of GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil Ctpknles. IB 24 you will feel renewed health and vigor. After you have cured yourself, continue to take one or two Capsules each day so as to keep In first-class condition, and ward off the danger of future attacks. Money, refunded if they do. not help you. Ask for the original imported GOLD MEDAL brand, and thus be sure of getting the genuine.—Adv.