Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 111, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 May 1918 — BATCH OF SMILES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

BATCH OF SMILES

It All Helps. “I ordered my garden seed today.” “Your garden was a failure last year, wasn’t it?” “In a way it was. Still, my neighbors’ chickens got fat. on the seed I planted, so my work still had somfe effect toward relieving the food shortage.” Dropped Within Reach. "Do you like your eggs dropped?” “You bet! I was delighted whew they came down twenty cents!” Playing Safe.

“You have planted mostly onions and radishes.” “Yes,” returned Mr. Crosslots. “Nobody at our house eats them. So if they don’t happen to grow it won’t make so much difference.”

Army Father Joined. “What are you crying for, little girl?” * “ ’Cause daddy joined the army.” “You shouldn’t cry for that. Won’t you like yqur daddy when he’s dressed like me?” “But —but daddy joined the Salvation Army!” His Ear to the Ground.

“What is your ideas as to the political situation?” “My friend.” replied Senator Sor•ghpm, “we regular expert politicians know how to go with the people. And just now all of our people are fighting for our country and not for jobs.”

New Calendar Demanded. “These old calendars are no good.” “Don’t they give you the day of the week, month and year?” “Yes, but who cares. What I want to learn when I get up in the morning is what I go without today." Two Senior in Years. A lady. anxious to find out how many children a new neighbor had asked one of the boys, "How many of you are there?” r “Five.” he answered. “Are you the oldest?” questioned the lady. “No,” the boy replied, “there are two older’n me—ma and pa.” Not Worth It “I see where Mrs. Jiggins sued sot SIOO damages for alienation of bai husband’s affections." - “What extortion!"