Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 14, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 January 1918 — SMILES FOR ALL [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

SMILES FOR ALL

As You Were, Men.

“But, Madge,”’ queried a cluster of wide-eyed girls, "w er e n’t you dreadfully frightened when the soldier tried to put his arms around you? What in the world did you do?” “Oh, that was easy. I just yelled ’Attention !* and he was perfectly helpless.”

a She Economized. “Tom, dear,” said Mrs. Youngbride as they sat down to dinner, “I, did, just as you told me to.” “You mean about economizing?” “Yes. Instead of buying sirloin steak Thought a porterhouse. It isn’t nearly so large, you know.” Expert In Two Lines. “That lady is very expert.” “Huh!” “Keeps knitting and talking.” "Well?” “And never drops a stitch or the thread of her conversation.” Some Satisfaction.

“You seem happy, Dolores.” “I am.” “Is Ferdy paying you more attention?” “No, but since this three-cent postage came in he has stopped writing to a lot of out-of-t own jtrls.”

Very True. Smith —Do you believe that music prevents crime? Williams —To a certain extent When, a man keeps both hands and his breath busy with a cornet you know he can’t be busy picking pockets, attempting homicide or slandering hi* neighbors. < • Nothing to Put in Them. First Tailor—This war will modify next year’s fashions. Because of the scarcity and high price of wool there will be no hip pockets, no cuffs on coat sleeves and no turnup trousers. Second Tailor—Yes; and if the war lasts two or three years longer there will be no pockets of any kind. They will not be needed. W I • Fair May. Husband—Then you won’t admit that you are wrong? Wife—No; I admitted I was wrong last time. It’s your turn now.—t Browning’s Magazine.