Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 311, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 January 1918 — Humorous Excuses Lend Relief To Overworked Lawyers. [ARTICLE]

Humorous Excuses Lend Relief To Overworked Lawyers.

The following is an actuality. It is written to show the various ideas that surround the paramount issue to all men between the ages qf 21 and 31. _ , Registrant comes into the office oi Mr. Blank, member of the legal advisory board, and prefaces his remarks with: “Howdy’e Mr. Blank, vat I vant to know is dis—how can 1 get out?” „ . , , “Get out of whaty’ is asked. “Dis question business,” is the answer. ■ “Oh what you mean, is that you want deferred classification..” “Yes, dat’s it.” “On what grounds?” “Veil, I got it dependents. “Who are they?” “My father and mudder. “Are they dependent on you for support?” .. ~ “Yes, but they live in the old country—in Russia.” “If that’s the case that wont excuse you.” __ . . “Veil, I got a sister. How about dat? She Jives in Chicawgo, of course she works and makes her own living, but she’s my sister just the same.” , . . „ “I guess you have no dependents. “Veil, how about dat industrial business —>can’t I get out by.dat? . “Are you engaged in an industrial' enterprise, necessary to the military of the United States? “Ain’t the clothing business an industry?” ■■. Y . ~ “All the clothing dealers in the country could be dropped into the middle of the ocean and it wouldn t affect the war one bit.” . “How about dat agricultural business?” , , “You’re not a farmer, you re a storekeeper.” • . , “Yes, but I live an agricultural community.” » . ~. “You’ll have to find something better than that.” . , “How about dat physical health.' “You sure look healthy to me, I can’t see that there is anything wrong with you.” , “Yes, but Mr. Blank, I m a physical wreck.” . , ~ . “Well, you get m class one and let Uncle Sam have you for three months and that nervous condition will disappear.” “So there’s nothing doing, eh “No, I don’t think so.” “Veil, they make me join the army —but they can’t make me fight.” . : . “Well, that’s so too, but you will join the army, and Uncle Sam wil take you where the fighting is,, and then you can use your own judgment.” . . . ~ Business of quick exit out of office door.