Evening Republican, Volume 21, Number 309, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 January 1918 — JUST FOR FUN [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

JUST FOR FUN

Taking No Chances.

Mrs. Dix I was ashamed of you, Ephraim, to see you dust the chair you sat on at Mrs. . Henshaw’s. I saw her little boy watching you. Dix I saw him, too. I’m too old a fish to be caught on a bent pin. " *

Starting It All Over Again. She-r-I suppose ts I were to tomorrow you’d marry some other woman immediately? He—Not right away.' I’d take a little rest first. * Self-Praise. “I don’t see why I keep trailing around after you when I could marry a dozen other girls,” complained Charley Dubson. “It may fie in bad taste for me to say so,” replied Miss Peacher, “but I presume you care for quality more than quantity.”

Information. Irate Patron —I dropped a penny /'"tk into this machine and nothing came wSpBI <> ut - fl Yjj Agent —If nothIng came out that T T -shows it’s 1/ VU I empty. IJIJ “But, sir, what do I get for my penny?” “Information.”

Preparedness.' Little Ned—Must I sleep in the •dark? Mamma —Yes. Little Ned —Well, then, wait a minute; I’ll get out and say my prayers a little more carefully. A Poor Compliment. “I have never heard a more informing address.” “Thank you, sir. Thank you very mjich,” replied the 'beaming orator. , “Er—what part of my Speech did you find the most instructive?” “The part you quoted.” Foxy. Ma—-I don’t know how I can get Willie to take hlsTmedicine. If I tell him what it is he won’t take it and if I don’t tell him he won’t take it. Pa —Just put it on the table and forbid him tp touch it and then he’ll take it

Some Doubt. ~ Business Caller —Who is the head of this house? Knowing Neighbor—Mr. Smythe thinks he is, but then he hasn’t been married long enough to know better. Oh, Woman I Kitty—Jack miserable when he kissed me good-by at the .station. Catty—He needn’t have been. He didn’t have to kiss you.